Letter from India IV 24/12/2004 I can’t recall if we have told you about the daily excitement of Indiawhen it comes to their roads. Whether you are being driven down them,crossing over them, walking alongside them or indeed sitting severalmetres away from them, you can be certain that they will be having animpact on you in one way or another.India’s road system is very much like our own, they have trafficlights, road markings (sometimes), tarmac and they drive on the sameside. Doesn't it sound very civil? In reality this is where anycomparison to 'driving' ends.As most of you will know, i am a computer gaming addict, and one of myfavourite all time series of games is Grand theft Auto. The object ofthe game (in a nutshell) is to drive as fast as possible around thestreets completing various missions. Little did I realise back home in'jolly ole England’ that GTA is actually the blueprint for the Indiadriving test.Indian roads (like most in the world) have 2 lanes of traffic, onegoing forward and the other coming at you; these are generally'single' carriageways. In India this is a trifling detail as anyonecan see that if you use the whole road you can easily fit 3, 4 ormaybe even 5 vehicles abreast and heading in the same direction. Thismakes for very entertaining moments when you meet the oncoming traffic (also 5 abreast). It is worth noting at this point that the Indians, despite having indicators fitted to their cars; communicate all butone traffic manoeuvre via use of the horn. I am yet to decipher whatthe cacophony of hooting, parping, tooting and blaring of horns meansbut i am becoming convinced that the level of communicationdistributed by the horn is so complex it makes the songs of whalesseem as simple as a nursery rhyme.The 'other' manoeuvre that I mention (the one not covered by the horn)is the flashing of lights, this quite simply means - I know I am onyour side of the road and driving very fast, but would you mindawfully pulling over a little further because I’m buggered if I’mslowing down for you.Needless to say being driven in India is a joy we look forward toeveryday and (touch wood) as yet we have not even been involved in aminor bump.In Goa I have now seen 4 westerners with broken legs hobbling about ontheir Indian crutches, these injuries are no doubt sustained from theBritish desire to 'saddle up' one of the many mopeds available anddrive headlong into the insanity of the Indian traffic the moment theytouch down at the airport.I imagine the scene is very similar to this'Christ bob they don’t arf drive fast round here''don’t worry love I’ve driven thru London it'll be alright''is there enough room to overtake here?''yeah love look that nice blokes flashing me through'CRUNCHWe are off to arrange some train tickets to mumbai for when we leaveIndia, followed by a gentle stroll along the beach (no doubt stoppingin the many beach bars littered across the area).See you all soonor as they say in IndiaBeep Beep, Honk, tootKeith & Saara Mad
Gone Away I'm sorry they're leaving India - this travel series has been very entertaining and funny. But that's Keith for you; a great sense of humour. Date Added: 24/12/2004
Ned Sounds a little like driving in Massachusetts. I often find myself trying to offer the driver going in the opposite direction the left half of the road if he would only allow me to use the right half. But I have yet to meet a driver who didn't have the right of way regardless of the traffic situation. Therefore, if he wants to use my half of the road due to some obstruction on his half, it is my duty, as the person who is not him, to climb up a curb or a tree until he passes.This is why I insist on stopping to let people out of side streets and parking spots, thereby angering and inciting other drivers and I wavethem all off with the simple greeting "it's just another Christmas miracle". Date Added: 24/12/2004
Way It's hard to wave to Ned up there and keep a straight face. Date Added: 24/12/2004
Mad Never fear I have several more letters from India (I've been rationing them) and of course there will then be letters from Thailand. Date Added: 24/12/2004
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