MadTV: The journal

Letter from India IV
24/12/2004
I can’t recall if we have told you about the daily excitement of India
when it comes to their roads. Whether you are being driven down them,
crossing over them, walking alongside them or indeed sitting several
metres away from them, you can be certain that they will be having an
impact on you in one way or another.

India’s road system is very much like our own, they have traffic
lights, road markings (sometimes), tarmac and they drive on the same
side. Doesn't it sound very civil? In reality this is where any
comparison to 'driving' ends.

As most of you will know, i am a computer gaming addict, and one of my
favourite all time series of games is Grand theft Auto. The object of
the game (in a nutshell) is to drive as fast as possible around the
streets completing various missions. Little did I realise back home in
'jolly ole England’ that GTA is actually the blueprint for the India
driving test.

Indian roads (like most in the world) have 2 lanes of traffic, one
going forward and the other coming at you; these are generally
'single' carriageways. In India this is a trifling detail as anyone
can see that if you use the whole road you can easily fit 3, 4 or
maybe even 5 vehicles abreast and heading in the same direction. This
makes for very entertaining moments when you meet the oncoming traffic
(also 5 abreast). It is worth noting at this point that the Indians,
despite having indicators fitted to their cars; communicate all but
one traffic manoeuvre via use of the horn. I am yet to decipher what
the cacophony of hooting, parping, tooting and blaring of horns means
but i am becoming convinced that the level of communication
distributed by the horn is so complex it makes the songs of whales
seem as simple as a nursery rhyme.
The 'other' manoeuvre that I mention (the one not covered by the horn)
is the flashing of lights, this quite simply means - I know I am on
your side of the road and driving very fast, but would you mind
awfully pulling over a little further because I’m buggered if I’m
slowing down for you.

Needless to say being driven in India is a joy we look forward to
everyday and (touch wood) as yet we have not even been involved in a
minor bump.

In Goa I have now seen 4 westerners with broken legs hobbling about on
their Indian crutches, these injuries are no doubt sustained from the
British desire to 'saddle up' one of the many mopeds available and
drive headlong into the insanity of the Indian traffic the moment they
touch down at the airport.

I imagine the scene is very similar to this
'Christ bob they don’t arf drive fast round here'
'don’t worry love I’ve driven thru London it'll be alright'
'is there enough room to overtake here?'
'yeah love look that nice blokes flashing me through'
CRUNCH

We are off to arrange some train tickets to mumbai for when we leave
India, followed by a gentle stroll along the beach (no doubt stopping
in the many beach bars littered across the area).

See you all soon
or as they say in India

Beep Beep, Honk, toot

Keith & Saara

Mad

Gone Away
I'm sorry they're leaving India - this travel series has been very entertaining and funny. But that's Keith for you; a great sense of humour.
Date Added: 24/12/2004

Ned
Sounds a little like driving in Massachusetts. I often find myself trying to offer the driver going in the opposite direction the left half of the road if he would only allow me to use the right half. But I have yet to meet a driver who didn't have the right of way regardless of the traffic situation. Therefore, if he wants to use my half of the road due to some obstruction on his half, it is my duty, as the person who is not him, to climb up a curb or a tree until he passes.
This is why I insist on stopping to let people out of side streets and parking spots, thereby angering and inciting other drivers and I wave
them all off with the simple greeting "it's just another Christmas miracle".

Date Added: 24/12/2004

Way
It's hard to wave to Ned up there and keep a straight face.
Date Added: 24/12/2004

Mad
Never fear I have several more letters from India (I've been rationing them) and of course there will then be letters from Thailand.
Date Added: 24/12/2004

free gift cards codes generator
Thanks for the information your article brings. I see the novelty of your writing, I will share it for everyone to read together. I look forward to reading many articles from you.
Date Added: 30/05/2018

youtube video downloader
this is nice article
Date Added: 29/09/2018

free gift card generator
This Is Really A Great Stuff For Sharing. Thanks For Sharing.
Date Added: 13/11/2018

minesweeper download windows 10
That is surely be a phenomenon.
Date Added: 05/11/2019

minesweeper download windows 10
That is surely be a phenomenon.
Date Added: 05/11/2019

security guard
Sounds interesting enough; maybe I'll watch out for this.
Date Added: 11/11/2019

emuparadise
thank for sharing
Date Added: 08/02/2020

emuparadise
thank for sharing
Date Added: 08/02/2020

emuparadise
thank for sharing
Date Added: 08/02/2020

emuparadise
lovely post
Date Added: 08/02/2020

ocean to games
thank for sharing admin
Date Added: 08/02/2020

kuyhaa
thank for sharing
Date Added: 08/02/2020

Idol Worth
I hope to see more from you, thank you for sharing!
Date Added: 10/11/2020

newborn photography minneapolis
Racist are not great
Date Added: 31/03/2021

electrolysis bakersfield ca
eat sleep
Date Added: 06/04/2021

롤강의
Your website is really cool and this is a great inspiring article.

Date Added: 30/08/2021

구글광고대행
Nice to read your article! I am looking forward to sharing your adventures and experiences.

Date Added: 31/08/2021

프리서버
This is very educational content and written well for a change. It's nice to see that some people still understand how to write a quality post.!

Date Added: 03/09/2021

명품이미테이션
Great post I would like to thank you for the efforts you have made in writing this interesting and knowledgeable article.

Date Added: 13/09/2021

롤 대리
Thank you very much for this great post.

Date Added: 01/10/2021

레플리카
I know your expertise on this. I must say we should have an online discussion on this. Writing only comments will close the discussion straight away! And will restrict the benefits from this information.

Date Added: 05/10/2021

레플리카추천
This is my first time visit here. From the tons of comments on your articles,I guess I am not only one having all the enjoyment right here!

Date Added: 07/10/2021

myloweslife employee login
Thanks for your insight for your fantastic posting. I’m glad I have taken the time to see this.

Date Added: 11/10/2021

출장마사지
I am happy to find your distinguished way of writing the post. Now you make it easy for me to understand and implement the concept. Thank you for the post.

Date Added: 11/10/2021

leiloes de imoveis
Your blog provided us with valuable information to work with. Each & every tips of your post are awesome. Thanks a lot for sharing. Keep blogging,

Date Added: 21/10/2021

오피러브
It’s appropriate time to make some plans for the future and it is time to be happy. I have read this post and if I could I wish to suggest you few interesting things or advice. Perhaps you could write next articles referring to this article. I desire to read even more things about it!

Date Added: 23/10/2021

custom laptop brands
Excellent and very exciting site. Love to watch. Keep Rocking.

Date Added: 26/10/2021

Rupi Kaur Books
I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don’t know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog, I will keep visiting this blog very often.

Date Added: 30/10/2021

노인 보청기 보조금 신청
I was looking at some of your posts on this website and I conceive this web site is really instructive! Keep putting up..

Date Added: 06/11/2021

promotion strategy
I wanted to thank you for this great read!! I definitely enjoying every little bit of it I have you bookmarked to check out new stuff you post.

Date Added: 13/11/2021

profesyonel masaj
Impressive web site, Distinguished feedback that I can tackle. I am moving forward and may apply to my current job as a pet sitter, which is very enjoyable, but I need to additional expand. Regards.

Date Added: 14/11/2021

6차 재난지원금
I wanted to thank you for this great read!! I definitely enjoying every little bit of it I have you bookmarked to check out new stuff you post.

Date Added: 17/11/2021

류현진 경기중계
An fascinating discussion is value comment. I think that it is best to write extra on this matter, it won’t be a taboo topic however generally people are not enough to talk on such topics. To the next. Cheers

Date Added: 17/11/2021

Tree Surgeon
Wonderful article, thanks for putting this together! This is obviously one great post. Thanks for the valuable information and insights you have so provided here.

Date Added: 19/12/2021

zinc for kids
Please let me know if you’re looking for a article writer for your site. You have some really great posts and I feel I would be a good asset. If you ever want to take some of the load off, I’d absolutely love to write some material for your blog in exchange for a link back to mine. Please send me an email if interested. Thank you!

Date Added: 21/12/2021

zinc for kids
Please let me know if you’re looking for a article writer for your site. You have some really great posts and I feel I would be a good asset. If you ever want to take some of the load off, I’d absolutely love to write some material for your blog in exchange for a link back to mine. Please send me an email if interested. Thank you!

Date Added: 21/12/2021

서울안마
If you set out to make me think today; mission accomplished! I really like your writing style and how you express your ideas. Thank you.

Date Added: 23/01/2022

https://crankydeals.com/
This is very educational content and written well for a change. It's nice to see that some people still understand how to write a quality post.!

Date Added: 31/01/2022

정보이용료현금화
Wonderful article, thanks for putting this together! This is obviously one great post. Thanks for the valuable information and insights you have so provided here.

Date Added: 11/03/2022

Back to the main blog

Have your say

Name *

Comment *

Email *

URL

Add comment

Copyright disclaimersXHTML 1.0CCS2RSS feed icon