The Apathy Blog

In keeping with Gone Away editorial policy of never being first with the news, and blogging topical stuff only once it has come to resemble history rather than up to date information, I have decided that today would be a good time to do a Paris Hilton Blog. Well, everyone seems to have done one now so it's about time I climbed on the bandwagon, especially as everything that could be said on the subject already has. I much prefer bandwagons when I have them to myself.

Perhaps I should start by admitting that I have no idea who Paris Hilton is. Had you asked me a couple of weeks ago, I'd have guessed a hotel in France. But it has proved quite difficult to preserve my ignorance on this score as I surf the blogosphere. Everyone but myself has an opinion on Paris, it seems. Whilst attempting not to read anything on the subject, inevitably I have picked up the odd fact or two, probably subliminally, as I sit with a Paris Hilton blog before me, waiting for my ancient computer to load some other blog. From these inadvertently-gathered snippets of information, I have been able to build up a picture of what the fuss is (or was) about and have discovered, to my amazement and alarm, that I do have an opinion on the matter.

That opinion can be summed up in very few words. It is, essentially, that I couldn't care less. Now, you can say to me that this is merely the common sentiment expressed in a million blogs before mine and I would have to answer that I did warn you; never let it be said that Gone Away even once expressed an original opinion on any subject even vaguely topical. But there is one conclusion to be made from this situation that very few people seem to be drawing. Let me see if I can explain further.

If the majority of people really couldn't care less about the activities of Paris Hilton or any other person famous for being famous (if that is what she is - no, please don't tell me any more, I really don't want to know), then we ought to be demonstrating that fact in some way other than telling everyone we meet that we don't care about her. True lack of care for a subject is only effectively demonstrated by complete silence on that subject, as if it didn't exist. Of course, you may now point the finger at me and accuse me of doing exactly what I suggest we don't do, namely, write a Paris Hilton blog. And you'd be quite right; it is totally illogical for me to be doing what I am presently engaged in. Try as I might, however, I don't seem to be able to raise any concern over my being illogical. There is no insistence on logic mentioned in the Gone Away editorial policy so I refuse to worry about it.

My point, if I have one (and I'm not certain that I do), is this: let us all make a vow never to be drawn again into discussion of such a non-subject as the Paris Hilton affair. Let the media make much of whatever non-event they have decided to blow out of all proportion to its importance to anyone; but let us show our complete apathy in the matter by never saying a word on the subject. Let the blogs remain silent on such things, let a tornado of complete indifference swallow up these petty non-happenings and take them off to Oz or somewhere equally imaginary. But let the bloggers overlook the whole thing.

And, if asked for an opinion on such a non-matter, let the universal response be, "Pardon? Did you say something?"