Siblings

I grew up with two sisters. It always struck me as a little unfair that I only had two sisters whereas both of my sisters had a brother and a sister. In this way, I was deprived of knowing what it is like to have a brother. But at least I did have the experience of siblings.

Only children do not know what it is to have a brother or sister and this gives rise to all sorts of myths and theories on the effect it has on them. As an instance, they are supposed to be spoiled and self-centered. The psychologists are not so certain that this is true and opinion is divided as to the actual effects of being an only child. In Myths About Only Children, Toni Falbo argues against the myths and claims that only children have higher self-esteem and achieve more than other children, but, in The Dilemma of the Only Child, Alissa D. Eischens seems much less convinced. It does seem to be accepted, however, that being an only child has some effect on the development of the child.

My son, Mad, was an only child for the first eighteen years of his life. At that point, we confused him by providing him with, in fairly rapid succession, a sister and a brother. So Mad is in the interesting position of being raised as an only child and yet also knowing what it is to have siblings. Which is not to say that I have noticed any effects stemming from his experience; I haven't. This may well be the result of his forming a lifelong friendship with Keef, who comments occasionally on this blog. They have been friends since they were about five years old and are often mistaken for brothers, so closely do they resemble each other.

This matter of what differences are created in the only child may have some bearing on the future of the world. Consider that, for over thirty years, it has been illegal in China to have more than one child. The experience of having siblings must be extremely rare in that country, therefore, and in the course of time it is inevitable that the Chinese government will be composed almost entirely of only children. Will this have any effect upon the policies and decisions of that government? Will they have any concept of how politicians of other nations, composed largely of those who have siblings, think and are likely to react? Is it possible that China will be run by a bunch of spoiled brats or, conversely, extremely high achievers?

The prospect is further complicated by the fact that traditional prejudices against female children have continued in China. This becomes clear from a study of China Facts and Figures 2002; males consistently form about 51% of the population as opposed to the 48% who are female. This is the exact opposite of the male/female percentage in other countries.

We might suppose that only children of male gender have a greater chance of being spoiled in a culture that much prefers male children, in which case the old myth of self-centered brats might prove correct. Given that China seems to delay appointing its leaders until they are very old, how comfortable are we with the thought that such a potentially powerful country might be governed in the future by a group of crotchety, spoiled and high-achieving old men? A scary thought, perhaps.

There are implications for the system of government as well. Since it seems that only children tend to be more self-reliant than others, for how long will they accept the concepts that form the basis of communist thinking, of subservience to the state in the interests of the common good ? It may well be that the system that first instituted the population control of one child per family has sown the seeds of its own destruction in doing so.

All of which is pure conjecture, of course. It is far more likely that we will not notice any changes resulting from the only-child generations beginning to assume the reins of power in China. But it does make me wonder whether it would be worth our putting a little more effort into researching the characteristics of only children...

Technorati tags: Siblings; Only children; China.