Yesterday I received a slim package in the mail from Garcia, my man in Barcelona. This turned out to be a few photographs with notes included to explain them. It seems that Garcia did indeed attend the race weekend in Monaco and he thought I might like to see some of the pictures he took with his cell phone. Now, my Spanish friend is not exactly the world's greatest photographer and it was just as well he included notes to each of them; you will see why as you read further. He also seems at pains to convince me that he really was in Monaco, which makes me a little suspicious; probably, the truth is that he was holed up in some dive in Marseilles, sampling the local vintage. But I will let you decide for yourselves - on with the exhibition!
Hey Boss, I made it to Monaco and took a load of photos for you. I know you always have doubts about me and I thought this would be a great way to prove that I really was there. Take a look at this one - see where it says La Rascasse? Can't argue with that, can you? Think about it - I was at La Rascasse! Oh, and sorry about the stain, it got some wine spilled on it somehow, don't ask, it's a long story.
I went down to the harbor then and got a great shot of all the yachts. You probably won't spot her but there's a hot senorita sunbathing topless on that one just to left of center. Yeah, you'll probably not find her - I dropped the photo in some paella and it doesn't seem to have taken too kindly to such treatment. Oh well.
And what's this I hear about the crowd numbers being down? I took this shot of a grandstand and it was pretty full, if you ask me. I know, I know, it's a bit blurred but Alfonso jogged my arm just as I was taking it. What can I say? Hardly my fault...
You'll never guess what happened then. I was wandering around, feeling a bit lost and this guy suddenly calls out to me. "Ay, Garcia," he yells and I turn round to find it's my old compadre, Fernando. I knew you wouldn't believe me so I got him to pose for a few shots and one of them came out. I think I had the thing on Zoom because all I got was his elbow - but that really is Alonso's elbow leaning on the guardrail, honest. Trust me, Boss, I tell no lie.
Anyway, Fernando takes me down to the pits and introduces me to all the Renault guys. I met Flavio too and he let me take a pic. Seems I was standing too close but that's the Briatore ear and a bunch of hair. Now that one you can't deny. Garcia gets the scoop again! I had to tear the corner off when I needed some paper to write a senorita's phone number on. Sorry about that but everyone has their priorities, right?
Oh yeah, I nearly forgot - I took some photos of the race but none of them came out, just blurry things or bits of road. Those darn things move fast, don't they? Anyway, I did manage to salvage one but it was just a wheel:
That's on Fernando's car, that is. One thing I don't understand - why do Renault buy wheels from Australia? Or maybe it's just the hub caps they get there. Still seems a bit odd to me, unless they bought a whole batch of them while they were in Melbourne.
Anyway, that's about it. Sorry about no race report but I got waylaid after the first few laps by some old friends and they dragged me off to some bar down a back street. I tried to tell 'em but they wouldn't listen. Could still hear the cars though. You'd have loved it, Boss.
Your faithful agent and Man in Barcelona, Garcia.