The Apathy Blog 28/02/2005 In keeping with Gone Away editorial policy of never being first with the news, and blogging topical stuff only once it has come to resemble history rather than up to date information, I have decided that today would be a good time to do a Paris Hilton Blog. Well, everyone seems to have done one now so it's about time I climbed on the bandwagon, especially as everything that could be said on the subject already has. I much prefer bandwagons when I have them to myself.Perhaps I should start by admitting that I have no idea who Paris Hilton is. Had you asked me a couple of weeks ago, I'd have guessed a hotel in France. But it has proved quite difficult to preserve my ignorance on this score as I surf the blogosphere. Everyone but myself has an opinion on Paris, it seems. Whilst attempting not to read anything on the subject, inevitably I have picked up the odd fact or two, probably subliminally, as I sit with a Paris Hilton blog before me, waiting for my ancient computer to load some other blog. From these inadvertently-gathered snippets of information, I have been able to build up a picture of what the fuss is (or was) about and have discovered, to my amazement and alarm, that I do have an opinion on the matter.That opinion can be summed up in very few words. It is, essentially, that I couldn't care less. Now, you can say to me that this is merely the common sentiment expressed in a million blogs before mine and I would have to answer that I did warn you; never let it be said that Gone Away even once expressed an original opinion on any subject even vaguely topical. But there is one conclusion to be made from this situation that very few people seem to be drawing. Let me see if I can explain further.If the majority of people really couldn't care less about the activities of Paris Hilton or any other person famous for being famous (if that is what she is - no, please don't tell me any more, I really don't want to know), then we ought to be demonstrating that fact in some way other than telling everyone we meet that we don't care about her. True lack of care for a subject is only effectively demonstrated by complete silence on that subject, as if it didn't exist. Of course, you may now point the finger at me and accuse me of doing exactly what I suggest we don't do, namely, write a Paris Hilton blog. And you'd be quite right; it is totally illogical for me to be doing what I am presently engaged in. Try as I might, however, I don't seem to be able to raise any concern over my being illogical. There is no insistence on logic mentioned in the Gone Away editorial policy so I refuse to worry about it.My point, if I have one (and I'm not certain that I do), is this: let us all make a vow never to be drawn again into discussion of such a non-subject as the Paris Hilton affair. Let the media make much of whatever non-event they have decided to blow out of all proportion to its importance to anyone; but let us show our complete apathy in the matter by never saying a word on the subject. Let the blogs remain silent on such things, let a tornado of complete indifference swallow up these petty non-happenings and take them off to Oz or somewhere equally imaginary. But let the bloggers overlook the whole thing.And, if asked for an opinion on such a non-matter, let the universal response be, "Pardon? Did you say something?"
Clive
Mad MadTV has this to say: " ... " Date Added: 28/02/2005
Gone Away Spoken like a true apathetist, Mad. :D Date Added: 28/02/2005
Hannah I'm just perching here, pretending I know who this person is, and nodding wisely. Date Added: 28/02/2005
Gone Away Know who what person is? Date Added: 28/02/2005
Rusty Spoken like a true champion, Gone. (to the comment above) Do you see any mention of Paris Hilton on my littlebitrusty blog? No you don't! Only because it doesn't cross my mind though. Everything else that does is up there. I've decided my problem is that I'm apathetic to almost everything. Its hard to admit you don't care sometimes. Sometimes its easy. Sometimes its fun! Yup, I got bored. Date Added: 28/02/2005
Gone Away There should be an Apathy Party with the slogan "I Don't Care!" I'd start it myself, Rusty, but I really can't be bothered... Date Added: 28/02/2005
Rusty Don't look at me, I'd lose interest within seconds. I'd be a paragon to the true party ideal, but we'd never get anything done. Guess that would accomplish out mission though... I swear Gone, you must have a shock collar on notifying you of comments. You respond so quickly... Date Added: 28/02/2005
Rusty Don't look at me, I'd lose interest within seconds. I'd be a paragon to the true party ideal, but we'd never get anything done. Guess that would accomplish our mission though... I swear Gone, you must have a shock collar on notifying you of comments. You respond so quickly... Date Added: 28/02/2005
Gone Away Mad has it set up so I get an email whenever anyone comments. ;) Date Added: 28/02/2005
Jodie Pardon? Did you say something? :D I think you have to watch TV to actually know anything about her. And she's never been on the Simpsons, so I guess I'm safe in my ignorance (except for what I hear people discussing at work). Date Added: 28/02/2005
Gone Away Yes, in future I intend to preserve my ignorance by not noticing even when people make a fuss about one of these decidedly un-newsworthy people. :D Date Added: 28/02/2005
Rusty On a side note - if I ever say, 'pardon' I expect a deft slap to bring me back to reality. Date Added: 28/02/2005
Jodie Owww! Make Rusty stop slapping me!!! Date Added: 28/02/2005
Gone Away LOL Date Added: 28/02/2005
Molly A) Think chat Way then you might remember who I am. With one Jodie in the room I thought it might be best to use another name so I don't confuse you. Obviously that didn't work. B) Once you remember who I am then you might relaise why 2 great minds think alike. I refer to comments made on Parfit Knight pt 6 C) I did not seek out Paris Hilton I had Paris Hilton thrust upon me and had to get my feelings off my chest before my head exploded. So there, now I shall get into my huffmobile and depart Date Added: 28/02/2005
Rusty A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down. Date Added: 28/02/2005
Keeefer Aaaaah the lovely 5* Paris Hilton. From what i hear, many a weary traveller has rested his head on the plump firm pillows while gazing through the vacant windows at the soul of Paris. Indeed so welcoming is this expensive accomodation that it caused a furor on the internet when a video of its decadent opulence was released. The Paris Hilton often undergoes renovation, sometimes tastefully elegant but more often it is minimistically attired. I think it is only fair to add that if the Paris Hilton were a car, it would surely be a bike......................... Yes enough of this Mr Gone, get back on your one man bandwagon. Date Added: 28/02/2005
Way (stirs a cuppa while staring off into space) Date Added: 28/02/2005
Gone Away I'm confused - is Molly talking to me or Way? Date Added: 28/02/2005
Gone Away ROFLOL Methinks Keef knows a heck of a lot more about the Paris Hilton than I ever did. :D Date Added: 28/02/2005
Gone Away This has gotta be all your fault Way, sitting there, staring into space... Date Added: 28/02/2005
Gone Away By the way, I know which Jodie's which... ;) Date Added: 28/02/2005
Gone Away But my name's not Wayyyyyy! :D Date Added: 28/02/2005
Way Shhh...I take all the comments I can get. Date Added: 28/02/2005
keeefer Yes it is, its Gona Way, not to be confused with Gonna' Way, whichwould just be nonsensical. Date Added: 28/02/2005
Jodie Gone, how can you tell? :D Must be all my smilies... Date Added: 28/02/2005
Gone Away And to think I've been reading her blog all this time and never made the connection. Of course, Staffordshire! I really am getting old... Hope she doesn't stay in that Huffmobile too long. :> Date Added: 28/02/2005
Gone Away Easy Jodie - all I have to do is right-click on the name. ;) Date Added: 28/02/2005
Gone Away Keef, stop trying to confuse the matter even worse! Date Added: 28/02/2005
Gone Away I should think Rusty needs that medicine with all this going on... :D Date Added: 28/02/2005
keeefer hrmph, id get in the huffmobile too but it left without me. snubbed by the huff.....thats either a Jethro Tull album or a painful place to keep a candle. Date Added: 28/02/2005
Gone Away .oO(What a woman! Always did make stir...) I'd take the Tull album if I were you, Keef. ;) Date Added: 28/02/2005
Jodie Ummm....I knew that, Gone (yeah, sure I did). Hold out for the Passion Play album, keef, it's the best one, imho. Date Added: 28/02/2005
keeefer not heard passion play i dont think. Did see them live back in the early 90's with Mad, who also happens to be a fan. I need to get some CDs to replace things ive lost over the years so i'll keep my eye out for it. Thanks Jodie....or is that Molly? ;) Date Added: 28/02/2005
Gone Away That's Jodie. :D Date Added: 28/02/2005
Keeefer The original Jodie?.....not that the other Jodie is an imposter or in anyway deficient to the original. Neither do i intend to imply that the other Jodie is in anyway a replica nor unoriginal in any manner. I would also like to point out that by emphasising these points about other Jodie that i do not wish to detract from the originality of Jodie....sheesh which came first the Jodie or the Jodie?.....when ive finished the digging can someone cover me over. Date Added: 01/03/2005
Ned I can't comment because I have never been caught without an opinion. Date Added: 01/03/2005
Gone Away It's really quite simple, Keef. Jodie is from Oklahoma and a very delightful lady too. And Jodie is from England but has now metamorphosed into Molly (who was once MegaMolly) and drives a Huffmobile, mainly because she thinks my Paris Hilton blog was a response to hers (which it wasn't because I've seen so many of the darn things that I can't remember who's done one and who hasn't)... Clear? Date Added: 01/03/2005
Gone Away Ummm, excuse me, Ned, but, umm, your, ummmm, opinion's showing... :D Date Added: 01/03/2005
Keeefer Aaaaahhhh, now you have explained it all it is perfectly clear. So Jodie, is in fact Jodie of Nurse Ratchet fame? I think i'll just call t'other Jodie Molly as its much simpler that way. Date Added: 01/03/2005
Gone Away You have it exactly, Keef! Well done. Since I've known Molly for years as Molly, that seems to make sense to me too... Date Added: 01/03/2005
Jodie I actually think it's kind of cool that there's two of us...I so seldom meet another Jodie...of course, we are all cool. The name wouldn't have it any other way. ;) Date Added: 01/03/2005
Gone Away Of course, you both are the perfect demonstration of how cool all Jodie's are. And you both can write, too. :) Date Added: 01/03/2005
Keeefer Gone, you should write somthing on the effect political correctness is having on freedom of speech. I see that at yesterdays Oscars ABC made Robin Williams change some of his comedy speech for fear of upsetting people or causing controversey. The routine in question was about the cartoon character spongebob squarepants (about whom i probably know less than you did about Paris Hilton) who apparently appears in a video which endorses homosexuality, as he/it is a childs cartoon character my mind boggles at this. Is there a scene somewhere of Elmer Fudd lying naked on a chaise longe enticing the spongebob over with the words 'is that a wabbit in youw sqwawepants orw awe you just pweased to see me'?.....Im sure whatever the squarepanted one has done it should not be used to stifle the creativity of, arguably, one of the worlds finest living comedians. Surely censorship of artists by the media is a concern for us all in the 'free' world.....*steps off soap box, dusts it down and wanders off* Date Added: 01/03/2005
Gone Away Actually, it wasn't Robin Williams, it was some comedian whose name I can't remember (must preserve the Gone Away stance of knowing absolutely nothing of current non-affairs). I think that a blog about political correctness may be just too timely, Keef, given that it has not begun to recede into history as yet. Give it a couple of years and I might think about it... ;) Date Added: 01/03/2005
keeefer You are mistaken sir, i believe you are thinking of another incident by Chris Rock who was also a presenter at the awards this year (working for a news agency i read news all day....well when im not writing here....so i read very little but what i do read is usually acurate ) :D .....................And to top it all off Arthur Millers died so i cant email him to write a play about it, and Harold Pinter retired yesterday *sigh* its the end of the world as we know it. In 5 years time we will all be watching news bought to us by the Disney news channel and the only subject comedians will be allowed to use will be vacuums, we will have removed the words black & white from the english language along with short, tall, fat, thin, ugly etc. We will no longer be allowed to specify what sex we are nor even our age for fear that someone may be predjudiced by the information or that we may offend someone by being different to them. All outdoor areas will be covered in a foam like material lest we fall over and all food and beverages will be served cold. The food will be blended into soup to ensure we cannot injure ourselves whilst eating.....and when it happens i will remind you that you really should write about it ;) Date Added: 01/03/2005
Gone Away I will appreciate that reminder, Keef. :D You mean there were two of these ridiculous award ceremonies with vapid actors giving even more moronic actors prizes for being stupid? All I can say is that I am utterly grateful that the Gone Away editorial policy does not decree that I spend my time in reading the news media, as is your fate it would seem. You have my deepest sympathies. But you are right, it was Chris Rock that I was thinking of, a so-called comedian whose talent seems to consist purely in achieving the greatest number of obscenities in a single breath of all previous pretend comedians. Only this morning, Mad and I were discoursing upon your eloquence when the mood takes you, Keef, and I would venture to suggest that you use these talents in the blogging medium. Heaven knows, it is an area of life that is fairly desperate for talent of any kind. Apart from anything else, a Keef blog would be an absolute mindblaster! :D Date Added: 01/03/2005
Keeefer I have toyed with the idea of blogging but at the moment i only have internet access at work. When i find a decent ISP in Oz (one that will give me unlimited 512kb minimum speed access (no easy feat out here) ) then i may just start one. I suspect, however, that you only want me to start my own so i A) stop filling your blog with my rants :) B) Provide you with yet another outlet for your talents thus increasing your own readership......Or am i getting cynical in my old age? http://www.despair.com/connot.html Date Added: 01/03/2005
Gone Away I look forward to the day when you find that ISP. I tried to word my last comment in a way that you would not think your comments unwelcome here. It seems that I failed. Au contraire, I always enjoy your comments and would not wish them to disappear. But I do feel that your talents should be shared amongst a greater readership as well and that means blogging, my dear Keef. Now what the heck is the URL....? Date Added: 01/03/2005
Keeefer Gone, i dont feel unwelcome here.....and even if i did you know id just comment to annoy you more :) That URL is to one of my favourite sites. I recommend reading the E.L Kersten link as that explains the corporate vision, the F.A.Q. is pure genius, but the best thing of all is the 'Individual Designs' demotivational posters for your office....In every Cube, on every divide, push employees to suicide. Date Added: 01/03/2005
Gone Away LOL I shall have a look, Keef. Date Added: 01/03/2005
Gone Away .oO(Ned will be kicking herself that she didn't start this company years ago...) Date Added: 01/03/2005
keeefer yeah it makes you wish you'd thought of it, or at least got off your ass and done it lol Date Added: 01/03/2005
Gone Away So you're just going to have to think of something else. ;) Date Added: 01/03/2005
keeefer I'm going to declare my house a micro-nation, declare war on Australia. At which point i will be arrested under anti terrorism laws. I will tout my story to the worlds press and eventually secure my release. At which point Australia will elect me to primeminister and i will get to meet the spice girls and U2 and also have lots of cash left over in the 'free keefer' fund Date Added: 01/03/2005
Gone Away .oO(The lad shows promise...) Date Added: 01/03/2005
Matthew Paris Hilton? Isn't that a French hotel? Date Added: 01/03/2005
Gone Away Well, that's what I thought, Matthew, until people started telling me otherwise... Date Added: 01/03/2005
keeefer There are many connections and parallels between the two but most notably. Paris Hilton is actually one of the Heiresses to the Hilton fortune. Like the hotel she has accomodated many affluent men. Paris Hilton Nickname: Star Birth Date: February 17, 1981 Hair Color: Bottle Blond Eye Color: "hazel-bluish green" but wears blue contacts. Height: 5'8" Measurements: 34" - 25" - 35" Dress size: 4 Shoe size: 10 Homes: 30th floor of Waldorf Astoria in NYC, parent's home in South Hampton, her own pad in LA., loft apartment in downtown New York Pets: 3 pomeranians named Dolce, Sebastian & Prince and a mystery dog. Dislikes: Stella & Lola Schnabel, daughters of painter Julian Schnabel. Romantic Links: Eddie Furlong, Leonardo DiCaprio, Oscar de la Hoya, heir Brandon Davis, Jared Leto. Current Relationship: Rumored to be engaged to Tommy Hilfiger model & actor Jason Shaw. Date Added: 01/03/2005
keeefer Now we are suitably up to speed on the *ahem* 'lady' can we not mention her again. I am with Gone on this whole thing famous for being famous people bug the s**t out of me. We should seal them all in a metal box and drop them in the ocean where they can bore each other senseless with their own self importance until the air runs out. Date Added: 01/03/2005
Gone Away I just find people like that a bit sad for they do not have lives at all... Date Added: 01/03/2005
keeefer they just irritate me, i hate her even more now i know she has not 1 but 3 of those worthless fur balls people call dogs nowadays. The kind you have toi carry around everywhere! Date Added: 01/03/2005
Jodie Do you know how many dogs I'd have if I were that rich? I'd have my own shelter with butlers to take care of them! But they'd probably all be big dogs because those are the hardest to place. One of the prisons here started a "Pen-pal" program in which the inmates learn to obedience train shelter dogs which then are found adoptive homes. Off topic, but I thought that was one of the neatest things I'd read in a long time. Date Added: 01/03/2005
Gone Away I stick by what I said in the first place: I don't care. :D I agree about the dogs, Jodie. Anyone who gets along with dogs can't be all bad. Date Added: 01/03/2005
Hannah Pomeranians aren't dogs-- they are loud, obnoxious slippers that piss on the floor. Keefer, ty for the info. I now know far more than I wanted to about someone who was nothing more than a name in the vague corners of my mind. I can't tell you how happy that makes me.After reading all of these comments, I've changed my mind. If ever I have time to post on my blog again, I don't think I want comments, after all. Date Added: 01/03/2005
Keeefer lol Hannah, i agree with the Pomeranians comment. Im pleased i could educate you in the world of Paris Hilton and just hope i am never asked to write her Obituary or should that be oh-bitch-uary Date Added: 01/03/2005
Josh There are enough frequent posters on this site to call it a quorum, and it is obvious the vote on the bimbette is going towards wishing a bad case of acne on her -- but one is forced to wonder, again, looking at the number of frequent posters on this site - if indeed at least ONE of us is partly responsible for her notoriety. Ok, so what to do? Everyone who is NOT responsible for the fame of an almost totally worthless human being or CANNOT quote from memory said human being's dimensions, please take one step forward. Not so fast, Keef. :> Date Added: 01/03/2005
keeefer In my defence, i only looked into the facts about Paris Hilton BECAUSE of Gones article. Prior to reading this blog my interest in Paris Hilton was purely limited to porn......damn did i just write that Date Added: 01/03/2005
Mad What on earth's been going on in here? I turn my back for five minutes... Date Added: 01/03/2005
Ned *enters, kicking herself* That site is a howl. Some of those were just so... well, true. However, I know that the few little sayings I do post at my desk are greeted something less than appreciation and any one of these is a sure ticket to increased free time. I once had a tiny little sign, very inconspicuous, that said "Welcome to a branch office of Hell". It was suggested I remove it. I did. But, it is still in my drawer ten years later. A corporation is like any other brutal, totalitarian government. There will always be groups that meet and discuss freedom in hushed whispers. Unfortunately, freedom leads to people like Paris Hilton, for people even have the right to be vapid, publicity seekers, and others have the right to encourage them. I suggest we exercise our freedom to ignore them. Date Added: 01/03/2005
Gone Away Well, that was fun, wasn't it? To Josh, I must say "Well done on a fine piece of detective work, winkling out the only one of us who actually knows anything at all about, umm, wossername." To Keef goes the prize for passing the buck to a totally innocent party (what's the prize? A Gmail account of course - that leaves me only 49 to get rid of). To Mad I say, "Please don't ask..." And to Ned: There ya go, theory proved - it's the silly posts that people respond to. :D Date Added: 01/03/2005
keeefer I'll put the Gmail account right next to my other one Date Added: 01/03/2005
Gone Away Good idea, Keef. I knew you'd be overjoyed to have another one. :D Date Added: 01/03/2005
keeefer maybe i can set up some kind of infinity loop by forwarding the mail from each to each! Date Added: 01/03/2005
Gone Away For infinity, see the next posting, Keef! :D (although I know you have already) Date Added: 01/03/2005
Back to the main blog
You may use HTML in comments. A carriage return is <br />, use two for a new paragraph. For bold text use <strong></strong> and for italic text use <em></em>. If you know what you're doing feel free to use more complex mark-up but please no deprecated tags or JavaScript.
Name * Comment * Email * URL Commenting has closed for this post
