Forthcoming Changes at Gone Away Towers! 04/02/2005 At the joint board meeting of Gone Away Inc. and MadTV Ltd. this morning, certain far-reaching decisions were made (or, at least, talked about). It seems that the fledgling corporation of Gone Away is going to be given a greater degree of independence from its partner, MadTV. The official press release is on display in the MadTV offices, in the section named, somewhat imaginatively, "Blog".Although these proposed changes will make life considerably easier for the staff at Gone Away, not a great deal of difference will be noticed by the public. It is intended that the navigation bar on the left will reflect our greater independence by having only one link to the MadTV offices. This will be right at the top of the bar and will probably be called something like "MadTV". The remaining links will refer specifically to Gone Away and should include an About section, the Archives and a new Links section, wherein will be detailed all those concerns that Gone Away heartily approves of or recommends.Behind the scenes, big changes are afoot. Our esteemed editor, Mr G. Away, will be given a separate office with a large editing desk whereon will be placed one of those nice brass nameplates announcing the name of the aforementioned editor. The reporting staff will continue as they are, albeit with greater freedom of movement and imagination once the brooding presence of their editor has been removed.The ambassadorial section, namely our roving representative, Gon E. Away (no relation), will continue its efforts to ensure the good standing of the corporation with other concerns. I would ask Gon for a quote for this report but he is presently gone away on some errand (to foster even better relations with our neighbors, no doubt).Marketing will come under the care of Miss Gonea Way who has selflessly devoted her talents to this cause for many months. Her sister, Miss G. Onea Way will remain as Quality and Control Inspector.The staff at Gone Away will also have joint use of the MadTV canteen. It is hoped that some of the products of MadTV's catering section (cookies) will be made available to the public, thereby increasing customer satisfaction. We at Gone Away are particularly pleased with this arrangement as it means that all complaints regarding the quality of the cookies can be passed directly to MadTV, thereby freeing our Complaints Department for more important tasks.Our Comments Section, hardworking and devoted as ever, will not be undergoing any changes at this stage, having recently received a renovation in the form of commenters' links. In recognition of their achievements to date, however, we are considering giving them a large plaque bearing the relevant section of our editorial polcy: "All comments are welcome and digression in particular encouraged."A bright new future beckons!
Clive
Ned Let me be the first to congratulate you on your newfound freedom. The dedication of the navigation bar to all things Gone is, in itself, an acheivement in defiance of the natural laws of the universe. To leave a place that is Gone Away via a link that brings you to another place that was Gone before you even got there... mindboggling. The question begs asking... How will you support such a large staff on your budget? Do you have a budget? Of course now we see who is responsible for the excellent content of this site. We were sure it wasn't all that Gone fellow. I didn't know Way had sisters... Date Added: 04/02/2005
Gone Away Gone is our most trusted reporter but, of course, no-gone is indispensiible. The fact that Way has two sisters has been a closely guarded secret until now but they have agreed to the disclosure of this fact, even though it might well be a considerable surprise to Mr Way himself. The matter of a budget for all this was shelved at the meeting and the likelihood is that salaries will remain much as they are now: occasional cups of coffee accompanied by demands for higher output. Here at Gone Away we are used to defying the Laws of the Universe; I mean, you try surviving on those wages and see how far you get! In conclusion, may I offer the grateful thanks of the corporation for your kind comments and well-wishing, Ned. Date Added: 04/02/2005
Way *Ahump* As a stockholder in Gone Away Inc, I am thouroughly incensed at these fad-driven and quibblesome (not to bridge the political goings-on, or as we say here in Hoohooville, she-nanny gains) changes being wrought, some which, undoubtedly, will most assuredly (down the road) affect my personal bottom line and thereby influence either the amounts or the up-scale brands of ale I choose to keep stored away, against future unstabilities, of which I recall sending memos out to all parties several weeks prior to this present unwise, unsound, unfounded reasoning theretoforeof. And why has no one responded? I'll tell you why. They have been caught up in the self-absorbed and vain-glorious tasks of shopping for new furniture. Yes, those gay accoutrements, those fine bits and pieces of trappings and accessories thought to be needful (nay, meaningful) to the future success of said Gone, Inc. I groan as I hear the gleeful swipes of over-taxed credit cards, while gaudy curtains, carried in by salacious-speaking tradesmen, gaggles of profit-crazed painters that mix and muddle, faux experts fawning and lisping as they hang humongous paintings (no doubt secured from highly advertised weekend Holiday Inn shows) to rue our once happy hovel. Rue is us. Such wasteful frivolity has forced me , after some lengthy time spent standing with the fridge door open and staring remorsefully into the interior of said box, to draft a writ of injunction, seeing that there now is only one cold bottle left. For the time being, I indeed regret this move on my part, but who knows? Maybe I should abscond with the lone soldier, and go smoke a see gar and think about this new sister, Gonea. Date Added: 04/02/2005
Gone Away Thank you for your recent communication, Mr Way. We have taken full note of your comments and are currently engaged in an investigation into the matter. The lady employed in our Mail Office, Ms G. Oneaway, has been found to be responsible for the secretion of your memos in an unused folder marked "Trash". She has been reprimanded and demoted to the position of Mr Away's private secretary. I assure you that our recent decisions will not affect your disgustingly high dividends and might even result in an increase in the same. In conclusion, we have also received a tender from you in regard to the painting and decorating that needs to be done in the Gone Away offices. We have decided to award the contract to you on the condition that (in the words of the Editor) "make sure you don't mention this to the press". Oh and Gonea says, "Hi, Sexy." Date Added: 04/02/2005
Way To:CEO G.A. From: Way Dear sir: Having arrived at the bottom of the now-dead soldier, I find a cryptic tag affixed inside, at the bottom. From what I can barely make out, it instructs me to pack my meager kit with haste and invest in a long-distance (lorry?) carrier of my choice, for it states: "Moving on up" (Hi, sexy, indeed! Find me a desk!) Date Added: 04/02/2005
Gone Away As a shareholder in this enterprise, you are welcome to visit these offices at any time, Mr Way. Miss Gonea Way has asked me to tell you that you may sit on her desk anytime. Date Added: 04/02/2005
Gone Away Mad: As you can see, we all got emboldened. Be grateful if you can fix it. Ned and I have discussed the problem and it is all down to a missing space between the br and the / . We offer our most sincere and humble apologies for the error. And mushrooms too. Date Added: 04/02/2005
Ned I didn't see the part where you said it was your fault. Date Added: 04/02/2005
Gone Away I fudged it. I said "we"... Date Added: 04/02/2005
Gone Away All right, own up. Who took my picture of a chameleon? Date Added: 04/02/2005
Way Fawlty Towers now? Date Added: 04/02/2005
Gone Away Nothing faulty with my towers, thank you very much! Date Added: 04/02/2005
Hannah The state of your towers is not necessarily a matter for public knowledge. Date Added: 04/02/2005
Gone Away I suggest you tell that to the Remainderman over at Hereunder! Date Added: 04/02/2005
Way I am soo tired of this fat font. Date Added: 04/02/2005
Gone Away Me too. But I think Mad must have gone to bed by now. :( Date Added: 05/02/2005
Way Aw naw...He's a bright one, and not a bit shy, he aint. Lookie how I'm looking now, all skinnified again! Ta, Mad. Date Added: 05/02/2005
Gone Away Wonderful! Now let him attend to the chameleon sign. Mad!!! Date Added: 05/02/2005
Josh Fat font? You mean Like Zeeeeeeees? Date Added: 05/02/2005
Gone Away\ You have no idea how we have suffered through this long afternoon, Josh. I can only thank the technician who proved to be more awake than I had anticipated this very evening. And thank you, too, Mad, for attending to the matter of the chameleon. :) Date Added: 05/02/2005
Hannah This owl would be happy to attend to certain chameleon matters. May I suggest mustard and wheat toast? Date Added: 05/02/2005
Gone Away .oO(I've heard of bats in the belfry but owls...?) Date Added: 05/02/2005
glenniah I confess I have a penchant for new upcoming markets. So I write to inquire whether I may have a share in this exciting business venture. Given that honesty is the best policy I need to inform you that it is possible for me to receive inside information on the condition of your stocks and shares. However I am willing to become a secret partner. Also I see a desk is involved, well sitting on a desk could make me look taller and I am certainly not adverse to such a proposition. (I leave it to you to decide whether I mean the desk or looking tall.) Date Added: 06/02/2005
Ned This Glenniah is a cheeky one, here she has barely arrived and is already taking propositions and sitting on desks. I think Gonea has some competition for the attentions of the executives. And already inquiring into profit sharing and telling us of her penchants. Hmmmph! Date Added: 06/02/2005
Gone Away Dear Glenniah Thank you for your interesting proposal. Here at Gone Away Inc. we are always ready to entertain new stockholders, especially those with oodles of money or inside information. We are so pleased with your interest, we have ordered a special "ultra-high" desk for you to sit on when you visit these offices. That should solve any difficulties involved in the short view. I am glad you mentioned your penchants as they are popular with the staff, who consider themselves connoiseurs of such things. In celebration of your visit, I have ordered the place to be redecorated and have taken on the services of a Mr G.O. Neway who has alWays rendered an excellent service in the past. I trust that you will be suitably impressed. Ned-less to say, no expense will be spared to ensure your comfort and that no fOwl thing will intrude upon your comfort while here. After all, we are not Mad (he's the technical officer we share with our partner company, MadTV). In conclusion, I confirm that we are instituting a new share issue in your honor and look forward to a profitable and happy association with you. Especially profitable. Yours Gonily Gone Away Esq. Editor Date Added: 06/02/2005
Gone Away .oO(Blast! Forgot to put in the breaks. Too early in the morning for such things...) Date Added: 06/02/2005
Gone Away Ned: Thanks for the advance warning about cheek; I shall order the staff not to make rude comments behind Glenniah's behind. As for profit sharing, you know that our policy is equal shares for all. Safe enough, really, when the profits amount to a bag of peanuts and a dead keyboard. Now, be nice to our new shareholder. Date Added: 06/02/2005
Harvey Young Gone away is great. I am happy to see that the spin off of this clearly superior concern division of MadTv will be flying solo. Can't wait to read more, but first I want to see pictures of Gonea and perhaps even glennia. As an aspiring writer, could I please also get a desk at Gone Away? At least, I want to become an affiliate. Thanks Clive I will be back for more. Date Added: 06/02/2005
Gone Away Good to see you, Harvey. Miss Gonea says that she can do better than pictures if you would like to "come up and see her sometime. Baby." As for Glenniah, she is a very private lady and I'm not sure that she would agree to her picture being put up in our offices. However, I'm sure that your visits might coincide sooner or later and I would be happy to perform introductions. All of us here associated with Gone Away Inc. are aspiring writers and we would welcome you to our (somewhat boisterous at times) affiliation. I look forward to a long and mutually beneficial friendship. Date Added: 06/02/2005
Way I've never met a penchant I didn't like. Just the fact that both Gonea and Glen begin with a G is an encouragement. I can get braclets and other trinkets at wholesale now. (wasn't Ned assigned to the roof, to attend pigeons or something?) I have disturbing news, however. It seems G.O. went on another bender, and managed to get arrested for actually painting the town red. Well, as much as the two gallons provided in the signage budget would allow -- now the local "district" next door has been expanded, according to the news, but that is a matter that should not be mentioned here. Not in front of the new hires, anyway. Scratch that post. (note to self: Speak to CEO in private abt his over-indulgence in the port; rag him abt "ned-less" typo for proof of this faux-pax) I have a question to submit to the board, which should, by the readings I am getting from a wet thumb held in the wind outside the cave, be held this next Tuesday, around 11:17. Why are we hiring writers? This Harvey fellow looks like just an excessive and unned-cessary expense, when we should prudently first be securing services of six strong-armed swarthy sorts, plus that guy that doubles as a chef/lawyer -- the one that used to be an exotic dancer -- remember him? Date Added: 07/02/2005
Way (unless Harvey brings cash, of course. I am nothing if not negotiable. I need to go wash the soup bowl now, the wife yells) Date Added: 07/02/2005
Gone Away .oO(I can see it now - in a coupla days Way will be yelling for me to be fired and Harvey appointed as CEO...) Date Added: 07/02/2005
Harvey Young I say we wait for the vote of the board on Tuesday. Looks to me like you guys could use one extra hand, especially one that has cash in it. Besides, I am the swarthy type and as a consultant I can strong arm with the best of them. Think about the future. If G O keeps up with her drinking ways you will likely need someone to fill in. Never hurts to start training early. See you at the meeting. Date Added: 07/02/2005
Gone Away .oO(Ah, good. Seems young Harvey can hold his own. He'll fit in well, methinks...) Date Added: 07/02/2005
Remainderman I've gathered enough documentary evidence to put the whole lot of you away. Now, to find a place that will take such a delightful, but high-maintenance troup. Date Added: 07/02/2005
Gone Away As long as they have computers with a broadband connection, that sounds an excellent idea to me, Remainderman. I mean, you'd miss our silly comments otherwise, wouldn't you? :D Date Added: 07/02/2005
Ned Ooohh! I have always wanted to be part of a troupe! My mother spent all that money on ballet lessons, after all. But after the nasty incident with tripping into the Hostess Twinkie display, all was lost. My teacher wouldn't allow me back into class and insisted I stop giving out the slightly trampled spongy snack cakes to her formerly waif-like students. Tell Way I was on the roof but not to watch for pigeons. I have, in fact, a high powered telescope trained directly on him and his now infamous desk. Hey Harvey, welcome to the asylum. Date Added: 07/02/2005
Gone Away .oO(Really must get a new post out. The sooner this is all forgotten, the better...) Date Added: 07/02/2005
Way (...whew, Gone. I intended to add something extra valuable to the stew pot, but paraniod sensations that I am being watched are giving me the jim-jams again) Date Added: 07/02/2005
Gone Away My advice: Don't undress with the lights on, Way. Can't have poor Ned's nerves being all jangled, can we? Date Added: 07/02/2005
Way (...post, post, hurry, post...) Date Added: 07/02/2005
Gone Away .oO(Hey, Mad's put adverts up I see. A source of income at last. Have to alter that balance sheet to three bags of peanuts now...) Date Added: 07/02/2005
Mad Three?? Don't be getting greedy now. Date Added: 07/02/2005
bumpy_beth sounds like.... there are several with faulty towers around thess parts, lol. Date Added: 07/02/2005
Gone Away .oO(What can Beth mean?) Date Added: 07/02/2005
Harvey Young I have blogged. The pressure to post is gone for yet another day. Now, on to the merriment of this crew. Hey, is bumpy_beth a member to whom I have not been properly introduced? Date Added: 07/02/2005
Gone Away Beth is a sweet young thing from Texas, Harvey. We all know her from chat and she has her own blog too. Let me see, I have the URL on my person, I'm sure..... Ahh, here it is... Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a blog to read... ;) Date Added: 07/02/2005
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