Sharp Readers and Firey Foxes 07/01/2005 I have a new toy. It's name is SharpReader and it simplifies my morning chores by going around all my favorite blogs to see if there are any updates. Since the number of blogs that I watch is increasing all the time, SharpReader saves me an enormous amount of time - I no longer have to load each blog into the browser to look for updates.That SharpReader can do this is entirely due to something called RSS. Apparently, there are two schools of thought on just what RSS stands for - we can take our pick from "Really Simple Syndication" or "Rich Site Summary". Either way, RSS is a system that lists the pages on a website so that we can find the one we want to read. The owner of the website can set the RSS "feed" (as it's called) to show all pages or just a limited number, either specific or date-related.There are two disadvantages to the system. Not all websites are RSS-enabled so there might be some blogs that I will not be able to add to SharpReader's list of sites to watch. I am fortunate in that, so far, all my favorite sites are enabled.The other problem is that not all web browsers understand RSS. And Internet Explorer happens to be one that doesn't. The browser I use, Mozilla Firefox, is RSS-aware and so I don't have the problem. Those who use IE have two possibilities if they want to use RSS. They can either get SharpReader and use it to read the RSS feeds from their favorite sites, then loading IE when an update is notified, or they could get both Firefox and SharpReader, letting both access the RSS feeds so that they can be used appropriately (SharpReader is good for update notification, Firefox for site navigation).Using Firefox, it is easy to see if a site is RSS-enabled. In the bottom right corner of the browser window a small orange and white icon will appear. Clicking on this icon gives one the option of adding the RSS feed to the browser's bookmarks. Running the pointer over the relevant bookmark thereafter will produce a list of the pages on the site so that one can go directly to the page required, rather than having to scroll or click through others.So that's my advice for today. Get Firefox and a newsreader (SharpReader happens to be the first I tried - but it works well enough and does everything I want it to)! They're both free, by the way.
Clive
Mad Note to web designers: Don't let your Dad near XML *chortles* Date Added: 07/01/2005
Gone Away Well, I figured out for myself what the problem was, Mad. You didn't tell me I had to add to the previous blog... Date Added: 07/01/2005
Gone Away Oh, that's interesting - it took out the XML I have to add. It should have read "had to add (/item) to the previous blog" (except with those funny < brackets, of course). Date Added: 07/01/2005
Actressdancer Wow Gone! You've just helped make my life a whole lot simpler, as I tend to have many blogs to wade through. I am excited to try this new reader, and since I am already a Mozilla user, it should be a breeze. Date Added: 07/01/2005
Gone Away Ahah, a happy customer! :) Date Added: 08/01/2005
Ned I have to disagree because.. well, that is what I do. But I like wading through blogs, and what will I do if I know checking them is useless as I have no notification? I see many unhappy hours finding something other than my monitor to stare at. And no editing time once I have posted (I have to edit it at least five times after I have edited it for posting). Nope it's gonna go real time. And this is a good thing, why? *shakes head and mumbles* these whippersnappers with their new-fangled technological gadgets.. gonna ruin the net is what they're gonna do, wait and see... Date Added: 08/01/2005
Gone Away LOL Ned, I know just what you mean. But, when things start piling up, it's good to have a few labor-saving gadgets lying around... Date Added: 08/01/2005
Admin Don't mind me, I'm just the handyman around here *wanders past whistling and pushing a broom* Date Added: 08/01/2005
Admin Just pushin' that broom... *sweep sweep* Date Added: 08/01/2005
w I'm with Ned and the handy handyman. Date Added: 08/01/2005
Gone Away Shouldn't that be Madmin...? Date Added: 08/01/2005
Gone Away My guess is that "w" is Way... That reminds me of an Andy Capp cartoon from years ago (for American readers, Andy Capp was the archetypical British social security loafer). Andy is sitting outside his house with a friend when an official-looking personage arrives and asks Andy what he does for a living. "Nuthin," replies Andy. The official turns to Andy's friend and asks him the same question. The friend nods at Andy and says, "I 'elp 'im." Date Added: 08/01/2005
Way Oi. So I 'elp 'er. Date Added: 08/01/2005
Ned Andy Capp ran in US newspapers too. Date Added: 08/01/2005
Gone Away I live and learn... :> Date Added: 08/01/2005
josh I was a big fan of his Hot Fries. Not so much the cheddar, but they will do in a pinch. Date Added: 09/01/2005
Gone Away I am endlessly surprised at what makes the trip across the Atlantic and what fails to do so. What on earth did Americans see in Andy Capp? Date Added: 09/01/2005
Ned As long as I can remember there was always Andy Capp. I always read it. I guess a lazy bum is a lazy bum regardless of where you live. We may not have caught all the nuances, such as the significance of his name, but we recognize the ne'er-do-well who drinks too much and is a trial to his wife. Plus, as josh points out, he had a nice line of snack food. Date Added: 09/01/2005
keeef Wow Clive, you have hit new heights in laziness electronic readers to read for you!!!!! I was in a Thai restaurant yesterday and they were offering an Amenrican Breakfast, It reminded me of you down there in the bible belt and i thought it summed it up rather well :) Take Care Keeef Date Added: 10/01/2005
Gone Away Ahah! I detect a Keef on the prowl! Good to see you, Keef - and keep those letters to Mad going. We are all breathless in anticipation of your next adventures. Merry travelling, good sir (oh and wave hello to the dwarves - they've been bugging me about when they will next see you and I have threatened to send them on an expedition to rescue you from Down Under when you eventually get there. We are currently arranging for the old full size cardboard replica of Lundy Island to be brought out of storage and towed to Sydney Harbour). Date Added: 10/01/2005
Mad Oh shit, here we go again... Date Added: 10/01/2005
Gone Away Language, Timothy. Date Added: 10/01/2005
keeef Be wary of the dwarves, i have it on good authority that their version of 'lundy island' is in reality the base for a james bondesque villain and that the dwarves are in fact his minions.....this would explain their poor performance when attempting to rescue mad. I will keep my ear to the ground (listening for sounds of the pick axe) and let you know if i can prove these rumours. Remember 'Mums' not only the word but also a female hygiene product! Date Added: 11/01/2005
Gone Away No need to worry about the cardboard replica after all - I have just received a dwarfogram advising that it had become waterlogged while in storage. It sank as they were towing it out of Littlehampton harbour and now constitutes a danger to shipping at low tide. As for the dwarves, they became so excited at your re-appearance that they decided to have what they called "an Oklahoma rootin tootin shootin party". As far as I can make out, this consisted of getting extremely drunk on root beer and yelling as loud as they could, "Yeehaa y'all and thar's Keef in them thar hills!" Which leaves me with just one question on my mind: could you call a collective farm a communist plot? Date Added: 11/01/2005
Mad That's it! I'm pulling the plug... Date Added: 11/01/2005
Gone Away Spoilsport :P Date Added: 11/01/2005
keef I always thought there was somthing decidedly dodgy about farms. I guess it explains why they used to run about with sickles! I take it the dwarfogram was short,its typical of dwarves to use cheap materials on the building front, gold dont grow on trees you know.......and if it did what would you use to buy wood? In reference to the communists, could a communist demonstration be considered a 'Red Red Whine'? I will attempt to establish a dwarven work party in Australia, though due to the large ammount of mining prevalent in the country i may find the list of potential employees is stunted. You take the high road, i'll take the low road, and between us we will leave the motorist stranded. Date Added: 11/01/2005
Gone Away Ah Red Red Wine. UB40 and I'll pretend to be 27. The leader of the Oklahoma dwarves, Edwood Woodwood, would like to know why you'd swap gold for wood. I told him that was a wooden-headed question but he just won't see the forest for the trees. There are several volunteers for your Ozzie dwarven working party, Snert and Bolg are very interested and Puke Skylimper says he's always wanted to know what it feels like to walk around upside down (at which the other dwarves roared with laughter and told him that, since his nose runs and his feet smell, he's been upside down all his life). I tried taking the high road but the California Highway Patrol made me put it back. Date Added: 11/01/2005
bumpy_beth Thanks for the idea Date Added: 11/01/2005
Gone Away Hope it makes life easier, Beth. :) Date Added: 11/01/2005
Keef Snert & Bolg will be most welcome down under. I have appointed a new foredwarf by the name of Pull MeCartknee, he thinks his mate Jam Lemon may want to Help. I went to see Jam but he was acting oddly, claiming to be the walrus and muttering about egg men so i thought i'd Let it be. I also tried to recruit a dwarf called Ringo Starr ( i know its a silly name and totally unbelieveable), but he was too tied up with Tank engines to be able to help much, though he has offered to remove the dirt with Annie and Clarabel for a cut price fee. Anyway Me and Pull will put together a dedicated team over the next few weeks. P.S. Our local hospital is overrun with east europeans, they have food poisoning, it is a bad case of the Trotskis. Date Added: 12/01/2005
Gone Away Right, have packed up Snert and Bolg for onward transmission to Oz (they say the best things come in small packages - this'll prove them wrong). Edwood decided he couldn't go because he is so heavily involved in the defence against the cucumbers at the moment. The Trotskis hey? Probably started by that madman Starling... Date Added: 12/01/2005
josh I had to stop for a second and make sure I hadn't accidentally eaten that last hit of four-way I have stashed in my freezer. Rave on. Date Added: 12/01/2005
josh Or maybe I am stuck inside a Pynchon novel? Same thing, I reckon. Date Added: 12/01/2005
Mad Ah Mr Estell meet my best friend Keef, whom I have known since the tender age of five. Mr Bryan allow me to introduce Josh (the one, the only "Hillvis") my favourite yankee. Date Added: 12/01/2005
keef Hi Josh! Hey Mad you have a favourite Yankee? will you adopt him out of pity or is he genuinely a nice guy? :) only joking Josh nice to meet you. When Snert and Bolg arrive i will duly return them. A man should never covet his neighbours dwarf. Pull tells me that if we put a slight dog-leg in the mine we could come via Amenrica. Personally i think it will need to come from a bloody big dog so i will start laying traps.....does anyone have a 3 tonne can of dog food? Date Added: 12/01/2005
Gone Away I was going to explain but, on second thoughts, it's far too complicated... Date Added: 12/01/2005
Gone Away Thinks: Where is this place "Amenrica" that he keeps going on about? Date Added: 12/01/2005
Keef Amenrica, i am reliably informed, is where the American religious types hail from. Pull has decided to send an advance party to Singapore to meet with me there. They will travel by boat until the coast is in sight, when they will leap into the water, assume the foetal position covering their bodies with their beards, then drift in on the tide pretending to be particularly hairy coconuts. I think this plan is fraught with danger, what if they catch colds on the journey? you cant have a coconut sneezing 'cashew, cashew' it just wouldnt be right. I suggested they tried to be Hazel nuts, but Pull insists thats off topic. I have been approached by a giant, Olaf Fhartknocker, He has a cunning ruse involving a large catapult, He has built a prototype utilising 2 gum trees and the underwear elastic from the local dwarven hoarde, early results are promising, if not hard on the eyes, he has managed to fire several dwarves as far as new zealand (though we lost some to the sea). The main issue seems to be the short supply of dwarves, if we keep sending them screaming into the sky the tunnel project will have to be put on hold, furthermore, New Zealand is, of course, the home of hobbits and they cant half fatten up a dwarf with all their endless feasting, this means we need twice as much elastic to return them home, i dont think the budget will stretch to this. Regarding the tunnel, i managed to acquire a dogs leg (not that hard in Thailand it turns out) but i dont think it will be big enough and i fail to see how it will aid the mining process. Still i have despatched it to Pull in Oz and we will see what he makes of it, my money is on stew but you never know he may just turn it into a sandwich. Date Added: 13/01/2005
Gone Away To say that dwarves are in short supply is, in my opinion, dwarfist, if not low-down and dirty. If you're going to take that attitude, I would suggest importing some kiwis from New Zealand (once all the remaining dwarves have been fired off, of course). The kiwis may not be good at mining but they are small and furry enough to pass themselves off as dwarves. Here I have had a visit from Herman, minus his Hermits unfortunately. He has some wild scheme to set up a rock concert in Oz as a cover for the rescue attempt and has volunteered to be the main attraction. Naturally, I sent him packing - I mean, Herman's Hermits and rock? Who does he think he's kidding? I see Donny Osmond is attempting a comeback, however, and he might be just the feller to bring in the crowds down under - that's what I call a diversion! Edwood says he had an email from a friend of his in Thailand. Apparently he is the owner of the three-legged dog and he wants the dog leg back. Just hoping this letter gets to you before the leg reaches Pull... Date Added: 13/01/2005
keeef Im sorry if you took my comments on dwarves the wrong way, though in the much larger scheme of things it is a small matter and of little concern. Regarding the three legged dog, well it is not good news i am afraid. I sent it recorded mail last night and about now im sure it is the case that your friends dogs leg has (so to speak) been Pulled. I do not trust Donny or indeed any of the Osmund clan. First off their name starts with the sound Oz which, in my humble opinion, is to similar to Oz (the slang term for that barren rock of captavity to which i am bound). Secondly the man appears not to have aged for well over 20 years leading me to believe that he is in fact an automaton of sorts. It would explain his robotic performances and the fact that he appears to lipsync rather than sing. Furthermore, is it coincidence that during his peak he was in undated by 'wet girly panties' thrown through the air, shortly afterwards he disappeared.....This is the finest of evidence that he short circuited after being hit by one of the aforementioned sundry items and that only recently have they been able to acquire the spare parts to rebuild him. My advice is steer clear of the Osmunds....and come to think of it, the Brothers Gibb! Pull is insisting that his daughter (the round, hairy and aptly named) Stubby MeCartknee designs the outfits for the Dwarven crew. I am appalled by her early designs along the theme of moles (due to the digging apparently) and have sent her back to the drawing board. If the problems with the Dwarves continues then i am putting in place a contingency plan. Given that Oz has vast resources available (mainly sheep) I intend to enrol the abundance of surplus welsh miners. They are not only very efficent but easy to acquire via various (but dubious) websites. I am halted in implementing this immediatley due to the following reasons. Firstly the welsh Miners insist on singing loud and obscure songs, this may bring them to the attention of the local constabulary. Secondly,in the past, they have had a tendancy to strike over basic issues such as pay, safety etc. I will dig around and see if this attitude has changed, if it has then i may be willing to wipe the slate clean and give them a try, if they prove to be of the same ilk then i will let them dig their own hole and lay in it....though not necessarily with the sheep. Date Added: 13/01/2005
Gone Away Heads up there, Keef, I think you might have a rebellion on your hands. Just this morning a message was found in an old can of dwarf beans that washed up on the shores of California. The handwriting was atrocious and was obscured in places by dirty thumbprints, but I think we have managed to decipher it fairly accurately. It seems to be a call to arms by one of your dwarf workers and I append the message below:
The Dwarf's Lament
Ee be a foine master, That Oi will grant thee; But this sailin thru air Be too much fer me. That big bugger Olaf Ee catapults we Poor moiners to Zealan Or sumtimes the sea. This Keef that Oi speak of Ee tells us we're free, But if Olaf keeps twangin Just one will we be. Ee feeds us with dog leg (and Oi got the knee), Ee promises us gold dust But none do we see; Ee says ee's in Tie Land - Tha's not roight ter me. Oi thought it were done fer In that Sue Nar Mee. If you axe quoite civil Oi'll tell yer the key: This Keef be Pullin it, Ee's still in Indie. So down tools and stroike lads, Oi think yer'll agree, We'll 'ave no Welsh moiners, Unless it's fer tea! Date Added: 13/01/2005
keef Ahhhh im glad they made that clear. I have sent the miners packing.....by the time they have finished it will be all over. I have been wondering on a particulary perplexing problem. In Oz it is very hot, so the dwarves will need adapted clothing, not just their usual workwear. In addition, they need some recreation but it must be somthing that doesnt last to long and keep them from their duties....do you think it is out of the question to have Shorts in shorts watching shorts? or will the whole idea come to an abrupt end? I know its a small point and in no way should it be associated with the larger goal but without ironing out these little details we will never attain the lofty heights for which we aim. Spare a thought on this if you can but please dont turn it into a big deal. Date Added: 19/01/2005
Gone Away I'm glad you mentioned that. Some time ago my kids and I discovered the computer game, Baldur's Gate. We fought our way through to the end and then thought: Now what? As you may know, it is a game where you are given a choice of characters to "be" when playing the game and the Pootle and I invariably opted for the dwarf character while Boogie assumed the role of the elf princess. We noticed that when you upgraded their attire, you had to remove their old garments first, leaving them for a few moments in their underwear. This gave us an idea. We played through the game with one new rule: you were allowed to upgrade weapons but were not allowed to buy clothes. Naked Baldur's Gate was born...
The reason I mention this is because the dwarf was portrayed as wearing a pair of rather grubby Y-fronts (not a pretty sight, I can assure you). Your statement, "Shorts in shorts watching shorts...", gave me an amusing flashback and I couldn't resist sharing it with you.
If you want my advice, I'd go with boxer shorts; they cover a multitude of sins, even little ones, I'm told. Date Added: 19/01/2005
keeef ROFLMAO Now what a thought, naked Baldurs Gate! I noticed the Dwarf wore Y fronts that were less than white when i played the game. I assume that, being a miner by nature, they were used in construction to cover a crevice. But id agree surely a dwarf would wear shorts, and given that they are not one to shyaway from a fight, shorets of the boxing variety could not be more apt. Date Added: 23/01/2005
Gone Away I will never be able to hear the phrase "boxer shorts" again without laughing... Which gives me an idea - seeing as the dwarfs are now in Oz, would it be an idea to buy them all minah birds as pets? I have a feeling that the bird originates down under. But we could then talk about minor miners with minahs... Date Added: 23/01/2005
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