Runt 31/10/2006 Farmer Giles trudged across the courtyard towards the barn. It was time to deal with the runt.It was not that Giles was a hard man; indeed, by farming standards, he had allowed this business of the runt's survival to go on for far too long. The pig was full grown now; at least, as fully-grown as it was ever going to be. And the farmer's enjoyment of the film Babe was no longer a reason for delaying the inevitable.Actually, it had never been a good reason, thought Giles. The other farmers would have laughed themselves silly if they had heard of his sentimental notions. And the runt had done nothing to help his case; shown no inclination to herd sheep, seemed uninterested in the other animals around him and exhibited no signs of any unusual talents. It was just a pig in the end, a pretty useless one at that, consuming as much food as any but remaining stubbornly small and thin, a poor prospect for any discerning butcher. No, it was time to end this farce and see whether he could get any half-decent bacon off the thing.Giles entered the barn and waited a moment for his eyes to adjust to the gloom inside, the early dawn light streaking in dust-flecked beams from the windows but leaving dark shadows in the corners. The sty was against the far side, just visible as a low, white-washed wall and the gate a black square in the center.There was a vague shape emerging above the wall and Giles became aware that it was a pig's head, it's eyes dark holes that gazed back at him. As Giles approached, he recognized the runt, standing on its hind legs and resting its front legs against the wall. Still the eyes regarded the farmer without expression.Giles had never seen the runt do this before. Strange that it should pick this day of all days to be different. But no, to follow that line of thought would be to give the darn thing a reprieve, to prolong this embarrassing weakness. The runt had to go.The farmer reached forward, unlatched the gate and let it swing open. "Come on, fellah," he said.To his surprise, the runt swung itself down off the wall and trotted through the gate. It stopped next to him and looked up, as if to enquire where next it should go. Giles regarded it with a rueful expression."Ah, now ye'll show some spirit, now yer life depends on it, ye bugger."He turned and walked to the barn door. "Orlright then, let's see if ye can understand this. Follow me, Runt."Giles heard the sound of the pig's trotters on the hard brick floor and shook his head. The runt was doing as he asked. Far too bloody late for this sort of thing, thought Giles.He left the barn and walked around the corner to the shed, the pig following meekly. Inside, Giles took down the hatchet from its hook on the wall, turned and looked down at the runt as it stood waiting. Suddenly the farmer knew that he really did not want to do this. The way the pig looked at him, its unexpected obedience, its unsuspecting innocence of what was about to happen, all washed over the farmer and his sentimental heart cried out against the deed. As he wavered in his determination, he could not stop the words he now spoke to the pig."Dammit, Runt, I'm a farmer. I can't afford to have feelings like these. It's got to be done and quickly too, before I change me mind. Now stop looking at me like that."The runt did not stop. Continuing to stare at the farmer, it opened its mouth."Maybe we can do a deal," it said.Technorati tags: Short story; Babe; Pigs.
Clive
Mad Heh! .o0(Farmer Giles of Ham?) Date Added: 31/10/2006
Gone Away No, Ham be yon next village! ;) Date Added: 31/10/2006
w That happened to a farmer in West Texas, but then his place got raided and all his weed confiscated. There was no mention of the pig's fate, however, although some suspect he placed the call. Date Added: 31/10/2006
Gone Away The pig told me that story is grossly exaggerated. He reckons the police were in cahoots with the farmer and the whole thing was a set up to scare the pig into leaving town. Last I heard of him, he had a slot on some talk radio show in Minnesota. Date Added: 31/10/2006
way KSUE...yes, I listen in at times. Popular -- that pig is a snort. Date Added: 31/10/2006
Gone Away Yeah, I've been told he hams it up a bit. Date Added: 31/10/2006
way Has all his legs, does he? Date Added: 01/11/2006
Gone Away Well, he did when I knew him. He might have been small but he could move quickly! Date Added: 01/11/2006
Keeef mmmmmmmmmmmmm bacon *droooooooooooooooool* I snout there is much truth in this tail. I feel you just trottered it out and hammed it up a little. At least its relatively stable, theres nothing worse than when a story chops and changes all the time. Still as always you deliver it with STYle Date Added: 02/11/2006
Gone Away PorK eef, you've been infected with the dreaded pigpuns. A rasher thing never happened to mankind. The best remedy is to wallow in bed with a crackling good story. We're rooting for you, mate! Date Added: 02/11/2006
Keeef Infected? is that why i feel so swill? Date Added: 02/11/2006
Gone Away Well, you're certainly running a fever - your forehead is bacon hot! It's enough to make anyone squeal... Date Added: 02/11/2006
Keeef I bet i contracted it in Parma. I'm feeling washed out and my skins all streaky.I went to the docs but he was just a swine, told me i shouldn't hog all his time and that i'd become a boar. So i just snorted and left. Thats the truffle with these GPs they just trotter out the same old lines Date Added: 02/11/2006
keeef I bet i contracted it in Parma. I'm feeling washed out and my skins all streaky.I went to the docs but he was just a swine, told me i shouldn't hog all his time and that i'd become a boar. So i just snorted and left. Thats the truffle with these GPs they just trotter out the same old lines Date Added: 02/11/2006
Gone Away It's all a load of hogwash, if you ask me. Sow what's new? Date Added: 02/11/2006
Keeef Soweeeee I think ive misread that Date Added: 02/11/2006
Gone Away First I've herd of it... Date Added: 02/11/2006
Keeef Thats a load of cock and bull. Date Added: 02/11/2006
Gone Away So much for the farmyard impressions... Date Added: 02/11/2006
Janus You just made me snort my drink. Date Added: 02/11/2006
Gone Away Put some oinkment on it... Date Added: 02/11/2006
Buffy Love your writing. And your humour. Made me want to write a pig story of my own. Seriously. Date Added: 06/11/2006
Gone Away Thank you, Buffy. The world can always use more pig stories! And you can write too - yes, I went and had a read... ;) Date Added: 06/11/2006
Fractal My dear, old, grey-haried Gran used to love to chew on a pigs trotter. Well-boiled, she said, it was the sweetest of meats. I like pigs. I once watched a sow give birth to nine little 'uns, and was ileft in awe. Nice one. Date Added: 11/11/2006
Gone Away Thank you, Fractal. Actually, I've only had one close encounter with a pig - I was about six years old at the time and, as a result, it seemed a teffyingly huge monster to me. But I think I've just about forgiven pigdom now. My father liked pigs trotters but I could never summon the nerve to taste one... Date Added: 11/11/2006
Marti Great story! Sorry for vanishing for so long. Got a job, finished the novel (see blog for link to complete book online for free!) I hope you’re having a wonderful weekend. I wanted to say hello to everyone on my blogroll, and wish them well, because this is Thanksgiving weekend, and I am grateful for my Internet friends! Date Added: 26/11/2006
Gone Away Thank you, Marti. And good to see you - hope the novel sells like crazy. Happy Thanksgiving! Date Added: 26/11/2006
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