Never Kick the Habit 11/11/2005 It is a dangerous thing to be kind to yourself. Forget all those self help books that say you have to start by loving yourself; be cruel and unforgiving, demand higher standards, never allow yourself to get away with anything. If you relax on anything, be certain that yourself will take advantage of it.How do I know this? Well, despite the fact that experience has taught it to me countless times over the years, yesterday and today I had to learn it all over again. Sometimes I despair of myself.It happened like this. Months ago, I established a blogging pattern of one post every two days; it's ideal for me, not too strenuous (which leads to creative exhaustion) and not too infrequent to keep the readers happy. And I've kept to that schedule, even on days when I haven't felt like writing. Good discipline, I tell myself; someone has to keep your nose to the grindstone or (I know you) you'll be off somewhere playing a game or thinking about nothing.Yesterday was a blogging day. As usual, I turned up for work bleary-eyed and moaning that I really didn't feel like writing today, I need time to think, all these projects are too big for me, have a heart. Nothing out of the ordinary. So I paid no attention and set myself to work. I even fired up Notespad and saved an empty page as Blog160.txt. And then sat and stared at the page."I can't do this," I thought. "I really don't think I can do this."It was then that I made my mistake. I relented. Take a day off, I thought, nobody will notice; and you always said that you'd take a break if you feel like it. Go on, it's not the end of the world.So I did and, sure enough, no-one noticed. Except me, of course. I should have known that I'd make myself pay for such a decision. Come this morning and the brain has a big sign up on the gate: Sorry, no work today. All employees at Crisis of Confidence Meeting."Oh great," I thought, "that's all I need. Now what am I going to do?" I sent some desperate pleas for help up to the meeting but received only a few complaints in reply. Nope, we're not up to it today; everything you think of is too difficult; why can't you invent some easy posts for a change?, that kind of thing.It's the breaking of habit, you see. We don't generally recognize it, but habit is an enormous help to us in getting through our days. It saves on motivational energy and does a lot of thinking for us. Habit is probably the most important ingredient in ensuring that we keep ticking on through the days, doing the necessary, producing the goods. And I'd blown it with that one instance of giving in to myself. Now I just wanted to slob around the house, certain that writing was completely out of the question and telling myself that I'd get back to it tomorrow.That word "tomorrow" is the beginning of the slippery slope, of course. It was "tomorrow" that got me into this mess in the first place. It's "tomorrow" today and I feel worse than I did yesterday. Desperately, I phoned the meeting again."Please," I said, "you've gotta help me, I'm in deep trouble here. If I don't post something today, they'll start to drift away and then we'll all be out of a job."Well, they argued and complained but I kept at them and, eventually, they sent down Albert and Ben, the cleaners, to give me a hand. We sat down together and tackled the problem. All morning we thrashed various ideas around but we knew they were going to be too big for us without the brain to help. Things were looking grim but then Ben looks up with a mischievous grin on his face."What about a nothing post?" he said.I stared at him. He had a point; it's been a while since I did the last nothing post. But even a nothing post has to be about something."A nothing post about what?" I asked."Simple, boss," he says. "Just write about having nothing to write about. That's what a nothing post is after all.""Yeah," says Albert."But I do have things to write about. They're just a bit too big for me at the moment."Ben shrugged. "So, what yer gonna do, write nothing today again? You need to get the habit back.""Yeah," says Albert.Ben was right, of course. I had to produce something or things could only get worse. Write about nothing."Okay," I said, "we'll do it. But one thing, how about us doing an extra one tomorrow so that we're back on track?""Hah," said Ben, "have to ask the brain about that one.""Yeah," says Albert."And another thing, boss. Why don't you get these posts done the day before so that there's none of this panic all the time?""Good idea," said I.Fat chance, I thought...Tags Nothing
Clive
John Evans (Syntagma) We've all been there, Clive. That sinking feeling that typing out a few words is like being tortured by the Gestapo. Yet, somewhere inside we also know that once we get started, and the juices start to flow, we'll take to it like a rubber duck to bathwater.
At present my schedule is up to 16 posts a day for eight blogs. So when you can't manage 1/2 a post a day, think of me toiling in the sweat shop desperately seeking words, inspiration, and mental energy to get something done on everything from Windows Vista to Nirvana. Plus a witty little number for Syntagma. Today, though, I finally cracked the secret. It's this : 4 or 5 posts before 9am, when you're fresh, and the pressure's off for the rest of the day. I was woken up early this morning, so I hit the keyboard running and got 5 posts in before 9. The rest was a breeze. :-) Date Added: 11/11/2005
Gone Away I don't know how you do it, John. When I saw that you were spawning blogs all over the place, I knew how much work you were creating for yourself. Somewhere at the back of my mind there's a word floating around... Ah, that's it: masochist! ;) Date Added: 11/11/2005
Twelvebirds What an amusing post! I have read many blog posts about writer's block and not wanting to write and they usually say "I don't feel like writing today", but then they write on and on about not writing. This is a refreshingly honest look at how we make excuses for ourselves. I loved the little story of internal conversations. Wittily done. I am going to make reading this blog a habit. Date Added: 11/11/2005
ME Strauss I very much enjoyed this post, Clive, and the light-hearted air that surrounded it. I picture such a mischievous glint in your eyes as you type the words laughing. What fun! Liz Date Added: 11/11/2005
Gone Away Thank you, Twelve. :) And, if I'm going to become a habit, remember never to kick the habit! ;) Date Added: 11/11/2005
Gone Away Thanks, Liz, glad you enjoyed it! :) Actually, I'm just the reporter - that's exactly how it happened... :D Date Added: 11/11/2005
Scot Clive: For a post about "nothing," there's a lot of something here you say in regard to how hard effortless writing can really be sometimes, especially when it comes to maintaining a blog with fresh content. I envy you and others--Liz, of Letting Me Be, for example--who are able to post almost every day. I'm not sure if I'll ever be up to the task of being a multi-poster. Writing for me has always been a slow process. I write messy. Some parts come slow, some fast and furious. What starts out as my beginning sometimes becomes my ending. Paragraphs and sentences are repositioned. Words deleted or substituted for something more exact. Usually it takes me two or three drafts before I finally realize myself what I'm trying to say. As such it takes me a good three or four days just to create a new piece, and then a couple of more days to shape it into its final form. And so my blog has been slow in developing traffic because I'm not posting three or four times a week. I'm almost beginning to wonder whether it's actually feasible to maintain a blog as an individual effort, or whether it should be a collaborative effort of a group of writers in the same sense you would have with a magazine or newspaper. Date Added: 12/11/2005
Gone Away I can't say I envy you your method of writing, Scot, but it is the way "they" say writing should be done. Me, I hate all that work of re-writing so I do it beforehand in my head. Which is why I'm in desperate trouble if the brain goes on strike, of course. But we all write the way we do, I guess. One thing I will say, however. Blogging is rather different from other forms of writing; the demand for constant production of original material means that, to some extent, we have to be satisfied with a piece earlier than we might be otherwise. I look back on many of my posts and see ways I could make them better and there is always the possibility that it could be done for other publication types. In a way, a blog is a scrapbook of thoughts and possibilities that we can return to in the future and develop if we wish. Yes, I know they say that blogging is regarded as publishing and so "real" publishers wouldn't be interested. Get famous and they might, however... ;) Date Added: 12/11/2005
Matt Ahhh... the struggle against "the great white bull"... Congratulations on a successful battle today, Clive! Date Added: 12/11/2005
John Evans (Syntagma) Masochist? When Technorati tells me that even my old abandoned blog is worth nearly $50,000, there's clearly money in masochism. Not bad for six months of enjoyable, part-time activity. :-) Date Added: 12/11/2005
Gone Away Thanks, Matt! Only problem is: every time you win, there's another battle awaiting you just around the corner... ;) Date Added: 12/11/2005
Gone Away Oh come on, John, you know those values of blogs are purely hypothetical. Who buys blogs, after all? But you're right about making money from them - pretty soon you'll have to set up a new blog about "How I became a Millionaire through Blogging"! ;) Date Added: 12/11/2005
prying1 Am I correct to understand that there will be another post coming today (12NOV05) -(:-) Date Added: 12/11/2005
Janus Ah habits, it's frustrating with the writer's block. I know, I have had it for about 10 years. I have lots of ideas that I just never get to writing, or they sound better when I am reviewing them in my head when I am in the labs. I am one of those guys that says "I have nothing to write today" and then I write usually. What I really mean is, I have stuff to write today but nothing short and I am not in the mood to write alot. Date Added: 12/11/2005
Gone Away Hang on a mo, Paul, let me ask the brain... *subdued muttering* Umm, it seems it's under consideration and the answer should be with me in 24 hours... ;) Date Added: 12/11/2005
Gone Away Sounds so familiar, Janus. I guess we just have to grit our teeth and get on with it, regardless of how long it will be. ;) Date Added: 12/11/2005
Cypher-Neo This has got to be the longest post I've seen about "nothing". Yet, it holds a truth to it that most people forget. It's hard to write about anything on a blog... let alone, nothing. I've gone through days just like that when I can't seem to write about anything. I should take a page from your blog, and when one of those days happens again, write about nothing. Date Added: 12/11/2005
Gone Away Thanks, Cypher, I'll take that as a compliment. :) But, if you read a lot of blogs, you'll know that hordes of them fill page after page with absolutely nothing at all (or maybe I'm just not interested in their cat's health or what little Johnny had for breakfast). The trick is in making it interesting, whether it's nothing or something. ;) Date Added: 12/11/2005
keeefer With all those people in your head i hope you keep taking the medication. At the moment they seem resigned to helping or not helping you write, which is fine. However, if/when the day comes that they are urging you to go 'postal' (as i believe the phrase is in the land of the free) then try to avoid high vantage points and the purchasing of fully or even semi automatic weapons Date Added: 12/11/2005
Gone Away Oh, don't worry about that, Keef - they're all pretty docile until the union starts stirring them up and then it's just demands for more time off, shorter hours, coffee breaks; you know the kind of thing. They know that if they push me too far, I'll drop the lot and go beach-combing in Bora Bora or somewhere... Date Added: 12/11/2005
Ken Coincidence strikes again, Gone Away! I'm sorry to have neglected you since last week, but life has been getting in the way of blogging, as it's going to this week also, in the shape of re-decorating bedrooms. However, on the subject of "Nothing" posts, I've just posted a pretty depressing poem entitled "Nada" on my blog. Twenty minutes ago, to be exact, so if you run ... I don't suppose you're free for lunch, are you? We could consider the whole question of much ado about nothing? Date Added: 15/11/2005
Gone Away Unfortunately, I found this comment late, Ken. I've just had dinner! But I shall be across to read the poem directly. :) Date Added: 15/11/2005
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