American Idols (5) 07/05/2005 (to see previous American Idol awards, click here)Numero Cinque: The Mailbox and MailmanThe television show, American Idol, is all the rage over here at the moment. New scandals and talking points are revealed each week as the contestants get weeded out and the blogosphere goes into paroxysms as the bloggers shout their preferences. But not this one. Glued to my computer, as I am, I've never even seen the show. And, to be honest, I care who wins about as much as I cared about the British version. When you're as old as I am, it doesn't really matter who will turn out to be the latest teen pop singer.What I do care about is my own series of American idols: my attempt to encapsulate the American experience in a few defining sights that can only mean America. The last I did was on January 28th of this year, so the next is definitely overdue. I ask you, therefore, to consider the mailbox and its attendant, the mailman.Everyone knows the American mailbox, that arched metal box with a flap at one end and a flag on the side, perched upon its post by the side of every driveway. Like the fire hydrant, we know it from countless movies, comics and cartoons, an ever-present companion to every suburban household. Here truly is a symbol of America, for you'll not see it anywhere else in the world.There is so much more to it than meets the eye, however. That little red flag on the side, for instance; what's that all about? I have researched long and hard into this (I asked Kathy) and can now reveal the secret. In America the postbox for mailing letters is actually quite rare, being confined to high density residential areas of the big cities. Instead, a much more sensible idea has taken hold: they use the mailboxes of the houses for both incoming and outgoing mail. If you want to post a letter, just pop it into your mailbox and move the flag to the upright position. Then, when the mailman comes along, he will see the flag and know immediately that there is outgoing mail in the box. He collects it, puts in any mail he has for you, knocks the flag down again, and off he goes, back to the post office.Isn't that a brilliant idea? And so sensible, so labor-saving and so obvious. Think of all the shoe leather that could be saved if those trips down to the postbox in Britain could be done away with. I was staggered by the simplicity and efficiency of the system when I first heard of it.Now, those of you who remember the old days of trade union power may be thinking of the poor mailman at this point. How fair is it that he be expected to carry a load to the post office as well as from it, you may ask. But that question falls away when we look at the American mailman.Forget old visions of the mailman trudging through the blizzard, muttering under his breath slogans like "The mail must get through". That is an outdated image. These days the mailman is supplied with a little van that he drives through streets, stopping at each mailbox.And this van is something of an idol in itself. Imagine Postman Pat's little van, square and boxy, but painted white and with the flashy red and blue logo of the US Mail on the side. There you have the modern American mail van. And this van is unique in another way: it is the only right hand drive vehicle produced in the States. Why? Purely so that the mailman can drive down the right side of the street, doing his little transactions with each mailbox without ever having to dismount from his vehicle. In America, the job of mailman is a sedentary profession!Oh the brilliance and wonder of it. I can only applaud the genius of the system and wonder why it has not been copied in other countries. And this is why I have decided to award the title of American Idol 5 to both the mailbox and the mailman; they are the essential parts of a whole system that is so American in its solution to delivery and collection of mail.So let us stand and cheer these humble elements of a system that defines America so well. I give you, ladies and gentlemen, the US mailman and the mailbox!I searched high and low for a decent picture of the cheeky little US Mail van but the best I could come up with was this.And, finally, here's a question to consider: If a firetruck, police car, postal truck and ambulance - all with sirens blaring and lights flashing (except the mail truck, of course) - arrived simultaneously at four corners of an intersection, who would have the right of way? The answer can be found here.
Clive
Ned Around here in our dense neighborhoods, our mail carriers (it isn't PC to say mailman these days) have to hoof it from house to house and up all those stairs to the mailbox at the door. But gone are the days when they would trudge through sleet and snow and gloom of night, and even if it is a nice day, if you haven't cleared your walk and stairs of snow to their satisfaction, they don't have to deliver to you at all. There is the occasional route that requires a mail truck and mailboxes by the side of the road, but most mail trucks are used to pick up and deposit mail in the Post Office boxes. Most mail boxes by the side of the road are there to amuse teens with baseball bats in passing cars (one such prankster miscalculated the length of his body's projection through the window and was decapitated in a freak teen prank accident). Now, regardless of who has the right of way, I must tell you that those mail truck drivers will pretty much go when they feel like it, regardless of traffic. They have five or so rows of yellow lights on the back of the mail truck. I have noticed that they change which lights on which level are lit when they stop or move, but as we are never told anywhere, which set of lights means what, we are still unable to determine direction or intent. So my question is, does anyone know what those yellow lights on the back of the mail truck mean? Date Added: 07/05/2005
Gone Away Thanks for the additional info, Ned. And, as for your question, I confess that I do not know. Is there anyone out there who does? Date Added: 07/05/2005
Robert I don't even like pop music, yet find I have to watch that stupid show every week. What a lost hour, yet I never miss. Date Added: 07/05/2005
Gone Away Sounds as though it might be addictive, Robert... ;) Date Added: 07/05/2005
Josh Interesting article, Mr. Gone. I too have always been fascinated by the seeming infallability of the postal service, as I have never, ever in my life found fault with their delivery methods. Other than the occasional delayed package, never had a problem. I certain.y have never missed a bill, ffs. In my library of CWI (completely worhtless information -- aka my head), I happen to have quite a file on that ubiquitous USPS truck -- One of my materials professors was part of the Grumman-Olson development team in the late 80's. It is called the "LLV" - Long Life Vehicle, and it is basically a Chevy S10 blazer with a breadbox welded topside. :-P I still have a soft spot in my heart for it's predecessor, which was a Willy's DJ-5 - a Jeep with a hard top -- I always wanted to get my hands on one of those, they seemed like they might be a blast to drive. Date Added: 07/05/2005
Gone Away Woohoo, Josh, that does indeed sound like fun! Date Added: 07/05/2005
livinglikekings Very nice blog. I enjoyed stopping by. I am a big fan of american idol. http://outrageous-ebay.blogspot.com http://dailydoseamericanidol.blogspot.com Date Added: 07/05/2005
Gone Away Thanks for the kind comment, Kings. Date Added: 07/05/2005
Josh Oh, come on. That guy wa'n't even trying. There should be some sort of punitive or corporal retribution for blogspam like that. I am thinking electric shock, but it has to be unexpected. Date Added: 08/05/2005
Gone Away Doesn't hurt to be polite, Josh. ;) And you have to consider the fact that he probably got here after doing a search on American Idol. Bit of a bummer for him to find just me here, don't you think? Date Added: 08/05/2005
Jodie I've never watched American Idol either. But I adore the postal service. In all the time I've bought and sold on ebay -- over 1300 transactions, national and international -- they have never lost a single thing. And I have to admit that I occasionally send letters to my deceased Dad and brother. Since the postal service is, of course, infallible, I am sure those letters are being read. :) Date Added: 08/05/2005
Gone Away In England, it is required that everyone say how bad the Royal Mail is but, in fact, my experience of it has been pretty much as yours, Jodie: they are incredibly quick and efficient. I'm glad that the same rule seems to work in America. :) Date Added: 08/05/2005
Jodie Gone, everyone complains about the USPS, too. :D Isn't it funny? Date Added: 08/05/2005
Gone Away I think it's our duty as humans to complain of the postal service, Jodie. :> Date Added: 08/05/2005
keeefer Aha thanks! I finally understand why the little flag. I always assumed it was so the mailman could let you know there was mail in your box, thus saving you the long trek down the path in your dressing gown to check it. In Australia we have mailboxes near the road too. Except here they are made of brick with a little door. I find this real stoopid as no one, and i mean no one, in australia will put their hand in any type of enclosed space without some lengthy investigation and a lot of light. In fact so paranoid are we here of what lurks in the dark (and with good reason, did you know the funnel web spider likes nothing more than to sit at the bottom of swimming pools biting passing swimmers? and redbacks like to hide under toilet seats....bless em) that im surprised we ever pick up the mail at all. When i finally move out to the burbs and have to wrestle my mail from the bird eating spider that has taken up residence i will be torching the damn mailbox. So please only send letters inscribed on slabs of asbestos. Date Added: 09/05/2005
Gone Away That's actually what I figured the little red flag was for until I found out the truth, Keef. And we have those brick mailboxes here too but they are only for the classy suburbs. Hang on a mo - funnel web spiders at the bottom of swimming pools? Not when there's water in it, surely...? Date Added: 09/05/2005
keeefer Yup, they can store air along their legs apparently....this really is true and not a myth. In australia a lot of people have pools or hot tubs in the garden, its just a way of life. Aussie parents do not let their kids into the pool/hottub until its been thoroughly screened. Funnel webs are very aggressive and highly toxic lil buggers. Having just done a bit of research to check my facts, it seems they dont seek out the water but have a habit of falling into pools and can survive for upto 30hrs totally submersed. The spider itself likes to remain moist though so it is drawn to bodies of water Date Added: 09/05/2005
Gone Away That's a bit unfair really - a spider that can live under water. Only in Australia... Date Added: 09/05/2005
keeefer If we didnt have pools it wouldnt be an issue. Mainly because the natural bodies of water contain things far more deadly than a funnel web ;) Date Added: 09/05/2005
Gone Away We still have to work out a theory for that, you know. Why should a continent that was the refuge of primitive mammals like the marsupials also be the one with the most poisonous and nasty critters on the face of the planet? It really doesn't add up... Date Added: 09/05/2005
Keeefer I know. I'm beginning to think it was Australias insects that wiped out the dinosaurs Date Added: 09/05/2005
Gone Away LOL Well, it's not a bad theory. Some of those blighters are really much nastier than they need to be. Date Added: 09/05/2005
keeefer Here you go. a link to Aussie wildlife. http://faunanet.gov.au/wos/animals.cfm Date Added: 09/05/2005
Gone Away Thanks, Keef. Date Added: 09/05/2005
Jodie Keef, I am constantly amazed at the stuff one finds in Australia. It's a wonder humans can live there. But even with all the scary stuff, it's one of the places on my list to visit sometime in the next 20 years. But I don't think i'll be getting into anyone's hot tub while I'm there. :D Date Added: 09/05/2005
Kit I chanced on this page because I am trying to find, without success, a copy of the "mail mans charter" - ie the one about trudging through blizzards etc. I lived in the USA [East Coast] for four years in the early 80's and our mail man was a truly wonderful example of service to the community. He showed me his "charter" one day, and I thought he really lived up to it. He was old, limped and had bad feet, and a sad face, but he held our house keys when we went on holiday, delivered our mail, kept us up to date with the local gossip and was a great asset to the community. I would like a copy of the "charter" for two reasons - one, because its really funny being a take-off [unwitting] of the US Marine Corps charter, and two, I want to show my local [British] postman what his Transatlantic colleagues sign up to - or used to! If someone can direct me to the right web page to find it I would be grateful. Thank you. Date Added: 18/05/2005
Gone Away I'll see what I can come up with, Kit. Better still, I'll ask my wife - she can find anything on the net! ;) Date Added: 18/05/2005
jabberwock now, I know this exchange is v old, but I chanced apon it while looking for ex usps mailtrucks for sale. just think how cool that would look on the streets of south wales u.k.(where I am). and the right hand drive makes it ideal.... another interesting thing about the mailbox in the states... don't ever put your own leaflets in them. I did once, and got a stern letter from the post office,... basically its their property, or at least the space inside it is!! Date Added: 25/02/2007
Gone Away Old it may be, Jabberwock, but the program keeps an eye out for visitors and lets me know when one arrives. Interesting point about the mailbox space belonging to the US Mail - so they're allowed to put as much junk mail in it as they like but we can't spam them back! Ah well, that's government for you. ;) Date Added: 25/02/2007
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