A Song for Bernie
As I have said before, there is little to be gained from listening to the utterances of Bernie Ecclestone since it can be demonstrated that he lies whenever it suits him. He is, however, like a road accident - hard to tear one's eyes away from as one drives by. And so I could not resist reading his latest ridiculous statements as reported by F1 Fanatic.Bernie EcclestoneI will not be dissecting this particular outburst, however; apart from anything else, Bernie ventures so far from reality that it would be like shooting fish in a barrel to pick his assertions apart. Since this departure from reality does remind me of Bernie's inference that Sir Jackie Stewart is going senile, I found myself reflecting on how much further into his own little world Bernie can retreat before his removal from office becomes essential.That led me on to the realization that there is already a very fitting response to the pontifications of Bernie. In April last year, I suggested a theme tune for Max Mosley at the height of the S&M scandal - Madness' song, Embarrassment; in the same tongue-in-cheek spirit, here's a song for Bernie: Pink Floyd's Wish You Were Here.Wish You Were(n't) Here (with a few minor and obvious alterations)Pink FloydSo, so you think you can tellHeaven from Hell,Blue skies from pain.Can you tell a green fieldFrom a cold steel rail?A smile from a veil?Do you think you can tell?Did they get you to tradeYour heroes for ghosts?Hot ashes for trees?Hot air for a cool breeze?Cold comfort for change?Did you exchangeA walk on part in the war,For a lead role in a cage?For the last verse, I found it necessary to change a few words slightly to make the meaning clear and to include our old friend, Max. I figure it will be okay - I've just renewed my artistic license...How I wish, how I wish you weren't here.You're just two lost soulsSwimming in a fish bowl,Year after year,Running over the same old ground.What have you foundThe same old fears.Wish you weren't here.There is an old saying that Bernie might do well to take heed of: It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt.
Nice to see you back on good form. Nice to know the Polish food didn't win in the end. A bit like Kubica really.
Thank you, Steven. At my age eating becomes a matter of establishing the boundaries of good sense - a pity that Bernie has not bothered to do the same with his perception of his own importance to F1...
Personally I'd vote for a medley of Otis Redding's Mr.Pitiful combined with Randy Newman's Short People as Ecclestone's theme song. (No offence meant to anyone of any stature)Short Bernie got no reasonShort Bernie got no reasonShort Bernie got no reasonTo liveHe got little handsAnd little eyesAnd He walk aroundTellin' great big liesHe got little noseAnd tiny little teethHe wears platform shoesOn his nasty little feetWell, I don't want no Short BernieDon't want no Short BernieDon't want no Short BernieRound hereShort Bernie got nobodyShort Bernie got nobodyShort Bernie got nobodyTo loveHe got little baby legsAnd He stand so lowYou got to pick 'em upJust to say helloHe got little carsThat go beep, beep, beepHe got little voicesGoin' peep, peep, peepHe got grubby little fingersAnd a thieving, crooked mindHe's gonna get you every timeWell, I don't want no Short BernieDon't want no Short BernieDon't want no Short Bernie'Round here
Wonderful use of verse. I wonder though... The same dear old Pink Floyd provide another song that could be as apt..Brain Damage:The lunatic is on the grassThe lunatic is on the grassRemembering games and daisy chains and laughsGot to keep the loonies on the pathThe lunatic is in the hallThe lunatics are in my hallThe paper holds their folded faces to the floorAnd every day the paper boy brings moreAnd if the dam breaks open many years too soonAnd if there is no room upon the hillAnd if your head explodes with dark forbodings tooI'll see you on the dark side of the moonThe lunatic is in my headThe lunatic is in my headYou raise the blade, you make the changeYou re-arrange me 'till I'm saneYou lock the doorAnd throw away the keyThere's someone in my head but it's not me.And if the cloud bursts, thunder in your earYou shout and no one seems to hearAnd if the band you're in starts playing different tunesI'll see you on the dark side of the moonAFC
The lunatics are running the asylum indeed - good luck, F1...
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